life

Life update :)

Hey guys, I’m going to make this post quick and to the point, I been double missing lately but I also been super busy and Trying to get ready for the holidays. I wanted to wait to even talk about this but might as well spill the beans and give you an update on life and what’s been new with me.

Anxiety-

My anxiety lately has been so good, I haven’t had any major set backs, I haven’t had to take my anxiety meds or anything. Ive been super calm no stress, just living a great great life and I pray it stays like this for a long time. I don’t want anything flaring my anxiety up so I don’t wanna jinx it either but for the most part it’s been so good and I’m happy.

Depression-

My depression is also very well lately, I haven’t really been sad I been in a great mood, I’m not crying all the time or being with drawn from everybody around me or feeling not like myself so far I’ve been in great sprits and I’ve decided not to go see my therapist since I’m doing so well. This is another thing that I don’t wanna jinx and i pray doesn’t resurface anytime soon because being sad/depressed is honestly no fun and I was miserable everyday. So gotta keep my fingers crossed.🀞

My job-

I’m still at my current job, things there have been looking up actually, no drama between my co workers and I, everyone is getting along and were getting the job done and it’s actually been a good work environment here lately. I’m grateful for the position and the job that I’ve been given but I also had an interview at another drs office last week and they called me back and they want to meet with me again this up coming week to discuss the job more and let me meet the dr, so it’s looking good so far and I think I may have a new job but don’t wanna jinx that either or jump the gun too quick so I won’t go into to much detail about it yet but guys if I land this job things will definitely start looking up and this would be a good look for me so I will keep you guys posted on it.

Conclusion-

Nothing is perfect but I’ve been doing well lately and I want it to stay that way so I’m trying to stay positive and keep the negativity away from me. I’m sorry I suck at blogging lately the app is on my phone, I really have no valid excuses for my lack of blogging but I’m going to get better( I know I say that a lot) I really am please be patient with me and if you wanna see what else I’m doing you can go subscribe to my YouTube channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UClMlsfycn0FYkgBkQU4Ik6A ,I’ve been doing a lot of videos lately and I’ll be doing one later and posting it tonight so be on the look out for that. Enjoy your Sunday I’m back to watching movies on Netflix. Talk to you soon!

holidays/thanksgiving, weight loss/Healthy food choices

Holiday weight gain😩|tips to get back on track.

So,we have all been there,unfortunately where the holidays come and all of a sudden all that weight loss goes right out the window and bam you have gained all your weight back or at least some of it. I had a lovely thanksgiving with friends and family and a couple of days off work so that helped too but of course it’s back to work Monday and I’m dreading it?but I do have some good news, I’ll wait to share and again I’m sorry for being being M.I.A been so busy these days with so many things but I will get better in due time.

I wanna give you guys 5 tips on how to get back on track after the holidays so don’t feel discouraged guys because we all fall down but we can get back up. I only gained 3 pounds but still it feels like a lot in my eyes and I feel gross (being honest) but it will pass and I’ll be back on track starting tomorrow.

Let’s get started.

1. Clean all bad foods out of your home-

So this is a Hugh one because I won’t lie, I had so many bad foods in my house due to the holidays and I been eating and snacking like crazy and it’s like you get one cookie then you gotta grab another cookie πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ I know I know but it happens so the best thing to do is clean out your house of all bad foods and start fresh with all healthy ones, it will make you feel 100% better and you won’t have to worry about snacking on anything bad.

2. Make sure your using your weight loss app to document foods/ Stay in calorie range-

I kinda got off track and stopped documenting what foods I’ve been eating since the holidays, so I’m not even sure if I was in calorie range or under or over, so yes I been eating and not having a clue what’s been going on and now I’m looking at my app and feel so so guilty but again like I said we are all allowed days to eat bad sometimes ,so yes it happens but I will definitely get back on track using my app and again guys go download this app it’s works www.sparkpeople.com

3. Have a great support system-

This is also really important guys, because when you fall off the wagon you need someone around you to pick you back up and support you no matter what and keep you motivated. my mom is that person for me she always diets with me and keeps pushing me to do better, even when I’m like no don’t wanna do it, like today she told me I looked skinny of course I’m like no mom ,no not this girl but it’s hearing those compliments that make me smile and feel better,like this can be done and I can reach my goal so remember kick those people to the curb when they doubt you or bring you down because you can do it.

4. Go to the gym/walk the neighborhood-

I haven’t been to the gym in so long ,won’t even lie but going back may not be a bad idea even if you don’t wanna go or can’t go take a walk around your neighbor hood ,your body will feel so much better and thank you in the long run a little exercise helps and it’s also good for clearing your mind and relieving stress. So I’m going to make it a daily goal again to try to go the gym at least once or twice a week to start off especially for the new year. (If it’s cold where you live wrap up please don’t want anyone getting a cold) take it one day at a time it’s no rush.

5. Drink plenty of water/have fun with your weight loss-

So please always remember to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated guys that’s important when trying to lose weight and our bodies need water and if your someone who is not a big fan of water you can use water enhancers to enhance the flavor in your water it’s 0% juice and it taste good and your water taste great too, I have two in my cabinet now. Check down the Juice isle in your local grocery store. Guys don’t allow your weight loss to take over your life, this should be something fun and enjoyable not something that makes you miserable or becomes and obsession, so make sure to take a few deep breaths and relax and again it’s ok to have a cheat day or two remember it’s all about your health and being healthy , it should be a fun lifestyle change not a miserable one.

Conclusion-

Losing weight is not always easy and has its ups and downs but it’s worth it, when trying to be healthy, so take your time with it and everything will be ok, I had a little set back but I’m going to keep pushing, damn these holidays lol jk but again hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and great time with family and I’m off to relax before bed. Don’t let the holidays get you down keep pushing, I believe in you. I’ll be back sooner than later ✌️

holidays/thanksgiving

My favorite thanksgiving meals.

Ok guys I’m back again, I apologize for going missing again, I’ve been so busy with work and amongst other things and I’ve been neglecting my blog, I promise to do better guys. The holidays are coming up so why not talk about thanksgiving and what my favorite holiday dishes are, so let’s get in the spirit and let’s get into it.

The main course-

Turkey- I love turkey well sometimes it’s a light food and it’s healthy and has great protein and for those out there who don’t like turkey you can always substitute it with another meat that Taste better not everyone has turkey on thanksgiving I’m sure.

Greens- so it’s kind of a tradition my mom always makes greens every year except on Christmas she will make strong bean casserole witch I do love a lot. This is also very healthy and taste good so it’s good especially when dieting.

Mac/cheese- yes I love my Mac and cheese it’s so good my dad makes the best but my mom tries lol it’s still good though but it’s one of my favorites to eat I can eat Mac and cheese all day long literally lol but you gotta eat that in moderation.

Stuffing- stuffing is so good with gravy it’s the best my mom always makes too much of it though luckily all the guest eat it all so it works out in the end again eat this in moderation.

Rolls- yes bread has lots of carbs but I can’t resist on thanksgiving I love my rolls I eat at least two I won’t even lie it’s so good fresh out the oven with butter yummy I get hungry talking about it lol.

Can’t forget..

Potato salad- another family tradition like I wonder if we will switch it up one day and do just plain mash potatoes I wouldn’t mind something new and different but again everyone loves it so we stick too it for now and yes it’s good.

Dessert-

Apple pie- so normally every year I do an apple pie this year I’m making a chocolate cake by scratch to try something new and I got the recipes off my apps so it’s healthier then the normal cake you would bake you substitute the oil with yogurt so yes I will tell you how that turns out

Sweet potato pie- this is another family tradition my mom bakes two of these pies every year and of course we usually don’t have any left over because it’s a guest favorite. I normally don’t eat it because at that time I wasn’t even eating sweet potatoes but this year I may try it, you never know.

Coconut cake- my aunt usually makes coconut cake every year it’s her favorite cake to bake and it’s actually perky good even though I’m not really a fan of coconuts or the flavor I still try it out every year and it’s not half bad.

Also..

Cookies- so sometimes when I don’t do cakes or pies I bake cookies usually I do peanut butter cookies and I take Hershey cookies and place them in the middle it’s so good and a family favorite so maybe I’ll make it for Christmas you never know.

So thanks for allowing me back into your homes, it’s been fun blogging today but gotta get myself ready for work tomorrow, I will definitely be blogging more soon and I know I say this all the time but I’m coming back guys I really am, if I haven’t posted by thanksgiving I hope you all enjoy your holiday and time off if you get time off. Sweet dreams 😴

anxiety, weight loss/Healthy food choices

Weight loss update|Life!

I’m so sorry guys, I know I was suppose to update a couple of days ago, well life caught me and I got busy 😩 but I’m back today. I have been working on my weight loss as you can tell by previous post and let’s just say it’s working so well I have to credit it to hard work but also www.sparkpeople.com yes this app has helped me so much with eating right and the recipes are great. So I started off at 139 and I’m now 133. (After I had my daughter I was 145 and then got in to the 130’s but gained my weight back) I was shocked when I stepped on the scale and seen that. I wanna keep going to get down to 122. I literally haven’t been that small since 2014 also guys make sure your doing it healthy don’t do anything crazy to lose weight. I literally eat 3 meals a day and when I do snack it’s always something healthy. I will keep you posted on more of my weight loss and also on once I hit my goal weight how I’ll maintain it. I haven’t been going to the gym as much either here lately so gotta get back on track with that.

Life..

Ok so my life has been pretty ok, I still feel sad sometimes and depressed here and there and my job tends to give me a hell of a lot of anxiety here lately so I’m still in the process of looking for another job trying to be positive about it all. Once I get my new insurance I’m also going to start back seeing my therapist so that should be interesting, the goal here is to not allow my anxiety to take over but it’s hard some days are better then others. I still have those moments where being alone is all I want to do. I get invited to so many events or places and turn them down because I’m so use to being alone and I’ve become such a loner to be honest so I’m working on getting out the house more and trying to be more social but sometimes it’s like no thanks I’ll stay home today. Well it’s Saturday so I’ll get out for a little while today I’m taking my daughter out for shopping to get her more clothes and I’m going to do some Christmas shopping (I know it’s early but I rather start now then late) I always do my shopping early.

I still wanna get away but where the hell would I go? I still wish starting over was an option well maybe it still is but geez do I really wanna move away and leave my friends and family behind? Sometimes I do and it’s nothing they did it’s mostly me. It’s like when you have it all it still doesn’t feel like enough or it feels like it should be different and then you think about all the people in the world who are worse off then you and it’s like I probably should stop complaining and suck it up. My mind is always wondering and going into so many different thoughts and scenarios. I’m the happiest when I’m around positivity and around a people who matter to me. “it will get better” my boyfriend says to me every day he says “your dream job will come” I wanna believe that, Hell I want to believe that my sadness will go away and that I will fulfill all the goals that I have too. Some times when I talk to people they say “oh so your just sad about your job” and I’m thinking no it’s way way deeper then that. I wish I could fully explain it but it’s hard to explain and I don’t like opening up to people who clearly will not understand what I’m going through or what I’m dealing with.

I won’t explain to you why I don’t show up for things or why I do some of the things that I do because in all honestly Half the time I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I’m honestly still a work in progress but anyway enough of my rambling and venting I gotta go get myself ready to head out soon so again I’ll be back soon with another post. (Not about my weight or anxiety) something different for a change.

Enjoy your weekend πŸ™‚

weight loss/Healthy food choices

Healthy Foods|Favorite recipes.

So, I been on my diet for a week now and I’m enjoying eating healthier and trying to do better all around on this new lifestyle change as I like to call it. I been trying a lot of new foods and great recipes on the “spark people” app so please go check it out. I love this app! It’s helped me out a lot with staying on track. So I’m going to share some of my favorite recipes from the app that I love.

Last nights dinner(Friday):

I made a chicken dish and it was so good, I actually made too much so now leftovers are in the fridge but that’s ok more for me. So for this dish you will need:

1. Flat chicken breast, I used boneless chicken thighs instead.

2.squash, zucchini, potatoes and onions.

3. Add thyme, salt and pepper and a little olive oil.

4. I used a glass dish you can use a foil pan as well.

So I took my glass pan and washed and cleaned the chicken placing it on a separate plate until the veggies were all cut up then, I proceeded to cut up all the veggies and place it into my baking dish I made sure to carefully add the seasonings and then I grabbed my chicken and placed it in the pan adding salt and pepper I added a drop of water to the pan and placed it in the oven on 350. The recipe calls for it to be on 450 but I chose to do 350 and it came out fine. It cooked for an hour covered then I uncovered it and let it cook for 20-25 minutes, took it out of the oven and guys the chicken was so moist and smelled great also my veggies were soft and so good. I loved this dish my mom even ate some with me and though it was good, I gave my daughter some of the chicken too so it all worked out but yes guys this food is so great and it definitely works for anyone trying to lose weight.

Pasta dish (from two days ago)

Ok so this next dish was a meal made two days ago for my dinner, it was so good and it’s light and healthy ok so for this dish you will need:

1.Wheat pasta- it’s better for you then regular pasta also multi grain pasta is great too(I used rotini pasta)

2. I also used tomatoes, carrots and shredded cheese, broccoli and Italian dressing.

Ok guys so of course the first thing I did was boil my pasta and while my pasta was boiling I cut up my tomatoes and carrots and broccoli so when the pasta was done I placed it onto a plate and then proceeded to add the vegetables in, I took my cheese grater and grated the cheese into it as well now some people may not want to eat the pasta like this so you can also keep it in the fridge overnight and then eat it cold as well it’s really up to you. I ate mine without refrigerating and it was still good but next time I’ll do it cold. I used wish bone Italian dressing on it to give it more flavor it doesn’t matter what brand you use whatever you like or what works for you. It was a great dish and healthy also you can add meat in it for my flavor or protein. I choose not too because it was good without it to me.

Breakfast this morning(Saturday):

Ok so this morning I had a great scrambled egg recipe so crazy my dad use to make my eggs this way when I was little and I haven’t done it that way in a long time so for this recipe you need 4 eggs I only used 3 but you take your eggs and you break them in a bowl then you add 1% milk or you can also use almond milk whatever you choose then you add salt/pepper and parsley to the bowl and mix it all together with a spoon or fork, I always use a fork. You also will need a non stick pan and you can add cooking spray so it won’t stick the recipe calls for the stove to be on 6 but I put it on 3 so I added my eggs and then I used a spatula to move them around then I let them sit for a few minutes before moving them around again these eggs don’t take that long and the goal is to have them soft and fluffy so basically this was a quick dish and then i made turkey bacon to go with it. I made some coffee in my Keurig so that was good too.

So I will continue to keep you all updated on my food and weight loss journey also I’ll be doing a post on Monday about an update on “life” and where I’m at with all that. I’ll be doing a weight in on Monday so I’ll share my weight loss so far. Keeping my 🀞 crossed guys. Enjoy your weekend!

Ps: I’m sorry my punctuation sucked in this blog post it’s called rush writing. Oops!

https://www.sparkpeople.com

Great app for weight loss/recipes.

p

weight loss/Healthy food choices

Healthy eating|Back on track.

Ok, so today was my first day back on my diet or shall I say lifestyle change and so far so Good. I’ve stuck to my meal plan all day and haven’t ate anything bad. I was even tempted by cupcakes at work but turned them down and honestly haven’t even really been that hungry today for some reason. I been drinking plenty of water and staying hydrated and busy running around like always. I”ll tell you some of the foods I’ve eaten today and also share this cute recipe I’ve gotten off the new app I’m using to help with my weight loss.

Breakfast-

My meal plan called for me to eat cereal and skim milk but woke up late and was running behind schedule for work so instead I grabbed a mini bagel and ran out the door. My meal plan actually calls for me to eat some carbs and I won’t lie I love bread 😍 but I refuse to eat it all the time it’s not good for you. Bagels are ok eating them plain is best unless you wanna put butter and I suggest using a low fat butter or cream cheese for those that don’t like butter I’m the one over here like yuck because I’m not a fan of cream cheese but to each it’s own.

Lunch..

Another crazy thing happened, I rushed packed a lunch this morning and I didn’t like it so needless to say the only thing I ate was the fruit cup I packed so in the end, I came home and ate a late lunch I had chicken with mix veggies kinda light yet simple. I’m still working on my water intake I been drinking it more but I still feel like I need to up my intake. It will all happen in due time.

Dinner..

My dinner consisted of turkey pork chops yes they make TURKEY pork chops and it’s actually way better/healthier for you. They taste really good baked and fried but of course no more fried food for me so I baked them and then I had greens to go with them and a sweet potato so yes it was yummy, well kind of lol! I mean my body has to adjust to going back to healthy eating but it’s worth it.

Snack-

My snacks today were almonds and pretzels those are also on my meal plan, I never really liked almonds I’m usually eating cashews that’s my favorite but I got a big bag of almonds at Walmart the other day and so now I’m eating almonds and pretzels so it’s good so far also I had a pear a few minutes ago so yeah I haven’t really been super hungry but I’m trying my best to eat all my meals. I’ll probably drink another bottle of water then head to bed soon.

Wanted to share my lunch I made for tomorrow..

Yes I’m excited lol so on the app I’m using they have a selection of recipes you can make/eat so I’m scrolling through the lunch menu section and this chicken salad catches my eye so I wrote down the recipe items and head to my kitchen.

In no way am I trying to take credit for this recipe FYI and I will be putting the link to the website in this post, I actually forgot to do it in my last post sorry!! So if you wanna go check this app out or site out go do it, it’s helpful.

So back to what we were talking about so these are the only items you need to make this.

1.chicken, 2.onions, 3.celery, 4. Light mayo, 5. Pepper, 6. Salt, 7. Lemon juice.

I grabbed a small bowl I cut some chicken up (my chicken was pre cooked) and I added some mayo also (the original recipe called for yogurt but I replaced it with mayo) you stir the mayo into the chicken basically put as much as you like( I don’t like a lot of mayo) so after that I added some onions and celery. Grabbed my lemon juice and put 1/2 in the bowl then added a dash of salt/pepper and wallah you have your simple chicken salad.

Also I’m having yogurt and almonds with my lunch tomorrow.

So today was actually a good day guys I’m trying and as always I’ll keep you updated on my progress so one day down and a lot more to go but it can be done so when you feel like giving up DON’T keep pushing because the end results are worth it. Off to bed for me gotta be up again at 5:30 😦 good night!

https://www.sparkpeople.com

Check them out!

weight loss/Healthy food choices

Weight loss update..

I honestly feel embarrassed even writing about this πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ it’s crazy to think that things were going so good, my weight was in a good place and I was happy. I think my depression has played a major part in where I am now unfortunately. Food has won and my self control has lost 😐

Where I’m at..

This week has been a world win and I’ve been eating bad unfortunately but I have decided to go back on the meal plan my nutritionist has given me and I’m excited to move forward starting Monday also with the help of my mom who is going to be dieting again with me. Honestly she always does better then me she’s more dedicated, food and I have always had a rocky relationships their are times when I’m eating good and other times where food is really not my best friend. I do always accept responsibility for any mistakes I make or bad decisions that may occur in my life. I’m trying my best to get out of the space I’m in right now and trying my best to slip out of the depression and get back on track.

What’s next for me..

The only thing at this point that can be done is me striving to do my best again. I’m going to regain my strength and regain my power back and get my life back the way it was before everything went left. I’m actually proud of myself though since I’ve gone grocery shopping today and rid my refrigerator of all the bad foods so I’m excited about going back to healthy eating also I’m going to be back in the gym next week and I’m thinking about getting a trainer for the extra help. I downloaded a new app on my phone to help with my eating as well ,I’ll put the link at the end of the post but so far I like it a lot it actually will generate and make your meal plans for you also it’s great because you can blog post your journey on it and post pictures and talk to people from all over the world who are trying to lose weight so that’s great motivation.

Conclusion..

I’m definitely going to do more post to keep you updated on my weight loss journey and to kind of document it for you guys. I’m going to share the foods I’m eating and the exercises that I’m doing and different recipes. This is a little off topic but after having my daughter I was 145 pounds and I remember losing weight and getting down to 133 or so and I was happy and then the weight came back after a while and I lost it again and of course now it’s back again to 139 and I was 133/134 last. I know to most reading this your going to be like stop bitching that’s nothing just a couple of pounds but to me it’s a lot I’m really insecure about my body a lot and In the past it has lead me to starving myself and not treating my body good. It’s really about a lifestyle change and being healthy for not only me but for my daughter.

More talk..

Again I also wanna apologize for my bad blog posting lately funny thing is I wrote part of this post four days ago and then saved it as a draft and never got back to writing more on it until today. I’m trying guys I’m trying again my mind is still all over the place and I’m trying my best to come back to being myself but I will try my hardest to blog more.

Enjoy your Saturday and relax because Monday is coming soon. Thanks for reading my crazy rant. It’s time to get back to relaxing.

anxiety

My mind lately..

I’ve been quiet lately again, honestly haven’t had much to say so I kept quiet for a while but now I’m like well let’s talk might as well tell you where my mind is at.

My feelings..

My mood has been all over the place lately it’s like I’m fighting between being ok and actually really being ok, I feel depressed/sad/anxiety/numb/I don’t even know but my emotions are all over the place and I’m trying to keep it together for my own sanity. I’m dealing with a lot mentally and internally honestly and I haven’t really spoke on it, I mostly been distant because I don’t know what to say and when I do wanna say it, it’s like well maybe I should keep quiet and not say anything.

My thoughts..

My thoughts consume me a lot more lately I’m always over thinking and trying to believe that it will all be ok, I’m at a cross roads in my career where I’m like what the hell is next? And then I’m also like I love what I do for a living but currently hate the office I’m at it’s not like I’m not grateful for the opportunity, i was fresh out of school when I got this great opportunity they could of picked Anyone for the job but it was me they wanted and I was thrilled at the time but now two years later I sit here and I’m burnt out and miserable, I want something different and I want to not have to drive and hour everyday to work and home. I like my co workers we have our moments but I’ve grown some what close to them and would miss them but I have to do what’s best for me at this point and the best thing is to leave and start fresh.

What keeps me going..

Honestly at this point the only thing that keeps me going is my daughter, family and my boyfriend but even sometimes it’s hard to wear a smile around them and pretend I’m ok but it’s deeper then that my mind is like a one track race sometimes it’s positive and other times it feeds me so much negativity. I think I’m tired of fighting, I think in my heart happiness is truly all I want I mean I have it in my personal life to a certain extent but is that really enough? I need more, I need to feel ok again. The weird part is I keep going through spells where I’m ok and other moments where I’m not and I’m not sure what is causing it. I blame a lot on my anxiety but sometimes I truly believe I’m depressed too and that’s hard for me to admit.

Conclusion..

I’m going to be ok even thought it dosent seem that way, I will be ok. I’ll keep repeating that into existence. I’ve been fighting the urge to see my therapist it’s like do I really want her to see what a mess I’ve become or do I keep dealing with my emotions in silence and wearing a fake smile so the world won’t know anything. Anyway guys I’m going to try to do better with my blogs I really am. I know I keep doing these disappearing acts but I promise to get better. Enjoy your Monday nights and I’ll now be off to relax and watch tv.

relationships

Does age really matter|when dating|in relationships!

FYI I’m not promoting someone who is super old to date someone 17 or under/ or the other way around, just wanted to put that out there when it comes to this topic I would never promote that.

I been thinking about this post for two days now and I keep posing the question in my mind, I hear it constantly being talked about online also in person and it makes me wonder does age really matter at all?

My Story:

In my early 20’s I dated a guy who was 30 and it never really bothered me, he saw me as his equal and I didn’t treat him like he was older, we had a some what of a great relationship but every couple has it’s ups and downs. I did realize some people were like your really dating someone that old or she’s so young but it never really bothered us and I remembered my grandma telling me she was happy for me but again that relationship didn’t last for other reasons but the age never really bothered me.

Fast forward:

My boyfriend and I now are two years apart, I feel so old don’t even wanna reveal my age but what the hell who cares right? So anyway when we met he was 26 and I was 28 well fast forward I’m a year older now and his 27 the point is age should not matter his not immature I’m not strict or trying to be his mother because I’m older we really mesh together he gets me and I get him, his my best friend and the best thing that’s ever happened to me age doesn’t matter when you love someone so why do people make such a big deal about it?

Let’s get down to the bottom..

People really need to let others be happy, worry about yourself and not other people. stop preaching and telling people how they should live their life or what they should be doing. Age doesn’t matter it’s what in that persons heart and think about it this way, someone could be the same age as you and still be immature someone who is older could still be immature it’s really no way of telling but it’s whoever your compatible with and when looking to date age shouldn’t effect how you feel for a person. Going back to favorite motto “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” choose happiness and let others be happy as well.

Final words..

I feel like society puts so much pressure on the world when it comes to certain things and it’s sad that we fall prey to what society thinks about us or how we should be when it’s not even necessary to be that way, Life is short so Do whatever makes you happy and don’t worry about what others are going to say or think. Age is a number it does not matter and we should all be happy and love hard. So to anyone out there who is dating someone older or younger don’t listen to outside voices do what makes you happy and live your life.

I’m sorry this is so short, I’m kind of taking a mini blog break again gotta hit the reset button so me not blogging as much means I’m taking a mini break but I’ll still try to blog in between. Sometimes I value my “me time” nothing against anyone Just need time to clear my head. Enjoy your Wednesday night I’m off to relax then off To bed πŸ™‚

mental health

This truly makes me sad..

I try to always keep a level head, I try to see everyone’s point of view and I try not to do the whole back and fourth arguing with people because it gets us no where. It truly saddens me and breaks my heart to see people with mental illnesses shaming other people who have mental illnesses like what the hell? How dare someone who suffers shame another person dealing with the same thing. You cannot tell someone else’s story when your not in that persons shoes.

People always say to me “oh you look so happy”, “your always so pulled together” or “are you ever sad” the truth is so much goes through my head daily I’m happy some days other days I’m depressed and my anxiety is all over the place but whenever I’m around people they would never know because I’m so good at covering it up and not letting anyone know I’m broken. People have to realize you can be happy or come off happy to others and still not be ok. Last weekend, I was with my boyfriend and I was telling him a story on how I was driving and I had this image of a cliff and I was falling off the cliff and my (child’s father) was on the top and he was holding on to my hand and I was so miserable and wanted to get away from him in my mind, I wanted him to let me fall. The whole time I’m telling my boyfriend this story he was in shock he couldn’t believe that my mind went to that place. Certain things/people can trigger my anxiety so bad and those are the people I cannot be around.

I was on twitter last night and someone who suffered from depression stated that a friend saw them out and said “you don’t look depressed to me” then it started the question in the comments “what does depression, look like?” The answer to that is clear, depression doesn’t have a look to it someone can be so happy and still be miserable at the same time. It’s not nice or kind to try to diagnose someone or tell them what they have or don’t have you may not understand what that person is going through but it doesn’t give you the right to judge them or make them feel even worse about it. Treat others the way you want someone to treat you.

I feel like some people get picked on over and over for things they have done or not done and it’s not ok, you have to realize someone with a mental illness does not have the same mind set as someone who doesn’t so to those who don’t get it at all, I suggest you educate yourself or start off by asking questions before you jump to conclusions or start diagnosing someone. Everyone’s mind is different and everyone thinks differently but it doesn’t make them not human we all bleed the same, we all feel the same pain we’re a lot more alike then different in some ways. I also will say please don’t jump on the bandwagon, I hate when I read a comment that’s negative online and then a bunch of other people will comment negativity and in my mind, I’m like aren’t you the same person who wrote something positive a minute ago like please have a mind of your own is all I’m saying even if it means standing alone. “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything” great quote by Alexander Hamilton and it speaks volumes especially for the society we live in today.

I speak on mental illness so much now since starting this blog, because I’m realizing how important it is and that everyone needs a voice to be heard, it was always important to me but I never really had a platform to speak about it on and now with my blogging, I can use my voice and stand for what I believe in. My biggest thing is more people should be educated on it so when situations arise they know how to handle them or they aren’t mis informed. I see so much bullying when it comes to these type of stigmas and it’s sad because we should be coming together not being against one another. I wanna continue to use my voice and speak on my experiences and hopefully it will help others.

It’s Sunday it’s relaxation day so I won’t keep going on with my rant but I’m sure you get the point so display some love today and relax before work Monday. I’m off to the store with my daughter now ✌️😊