Guys I’m doing 100% better, needed to vent, everything is good now. I even spoke with my mom and she helped me feel better, there’s no ill feelings towards my co workers either. I had a bad anxiety moment ( still not sure what triggered it) but I feel a lot better(this was written hours ago) just now deciding to post it.
Today has started off so weird for me, I had a great morning everything appeared to be going right, then all of a sudden my co worker says something to me not in a mean way but I kind of took it that way. I went back into my office and started crying and I’m still unsure as to why it made me so upset or mad but Sometimes my job as much as I love it can cause me a lot of stress, it also feels like most times I’m being pulled in so many different directions and being told so many different things that it can be overwhelming.
I wake up everyday I’m always in a good mood, today was suppose to be a good day and it still can be,however now my body feels weird my chest is hurting me and I feel like I wanna be alone and away from everyone. My anxiety usually makes me feel like this at a times, I try my best not to let my anxiety or my emotions get the best of me but sometimes it happens because I’m human. I never like when little things happen to me and it sets me back from being in control of everything going on and as I sit here in my office I’m still wondering what could of triggered my reaction or caused me to get so upset.
I don’t wanna alarm my co workers and I don’t wanna confront anybody because even I’m not sure why this has happened maybe i got a little overwhelmed or maybe something is bothering me that’s now starting to come out, do you ever get so emotional or worked up and then forget what happens or why it even happened? I know I cannot be the only one. I hate feeling sad inside or feeling like no one understands what’s going on through my mind but of course we all know no one can read minds. My anxiety has now been triggered and I’ll have to deal with the after math.
So I’ll go ahead and be honest I feel “crazy” as in what the hell is going on with me and is this normal. I feel the need to grab my anxiety meds to help me but at the same time I’ve done so good without them, so of course I can’t back track. I wanna call my mom because she normally knows what to say or how to talk me down ,maybe even call my boyfriend but I know they are both at work and busy, maybe I’m over reacting and need to relax, take a deep breath and it will all go back to normal.
I know this post has a lot of me rambling on thanks for reading and listening, yes these are my thoughts at the current moment, I’m glad I got to vent and write them down, by the way writing this I am not mad at anyone (just wanted to express my current feelings) and if anyone out there is dealing with anxiety or any mental illness know that you are not alone and that you are loved and it’s going to get better.
Also I’m debating in my mind on posting this or deleting this so this may not get seen until Friday guys sorry.
I’ll figure it out thanks for reading and going on this crazy journey with me, gotta get back to work now ✌️