I’m back and feeling a lot refreshed since going out of town, I’m happy to finally have gotten some alone time with my boyfriend and go to another place for a while. I missed my daughter so much though so I’m glad to be back home. The long interstate drives always drive me crazy because traffic is always heavy and some people can’t drive and going over bridges gives me bad anxiety, so it was a mess and plus the rain didn’t help but I’m home so that’s all that matters.
I had a very frightening experience on Friday that, I wanted to share with you guys. I was on the interstate heading to see my boyfriend and my mind was all over the place, I kept going in and out in thoughts at one point feeling like I was lost and my focus was all over the place and at one point a suicidal thought even crossed my mind. I was ready to drive my car across the lane with the other cars(I’m not suicidal however, I hadn’t been taking my meds) it was a very scary situation that resulted in me calling my boyfriend crying and he comforted me until I got to his house. I was so glad to be off the road and safe. This experience was definitely eye opening for me.
I Haven’t felt like that, In so long and it scared me honestly to feel and even think like that. I had been forgetting to take my medicine the past couple of days and that had a Hugh effect on me and it was not the best moment for me and I’m grateful for all the support and love that I’ve received. It’s so hard sometimes dealing with mental illness and everyone around you does not always understand it or what it’s like to be in my shoes or the shoes of others. It also makes me wanna bring more awareness to suicide and depression to shed even more light on to it. We’re so brave and strong and no matter what comes out way we can conquer it.
I’ll never allow my mental illness to define who I am or make me feel weak, however, I will continue to shed light on it everyday in and effort to help others and let everyone know you are not alone and loved and have plenty of support. Im now sitting here with my daughter smiling and playing in her room and that is my reason to breath that is my reason to smile and be grateful for my life everyday. I hope everyone enjoys this beautiful Monday night, see you guys soon ❤️