Remember to always love YOU and put YOU first.

self-love

I wasn’t ease dropping on the conversation, however I was in a public bathroom and she basically put her business out there for the world sadly and now I’m sharing my thoughts and telling my own story in some way…

So, tonight I went out to eat with my family for my moms birthday weekend, it was a great dinner we had a great night but of course as were leaving we stop by the bathroom and I take my daughter in to change her that’s when I over heard a waitress on the phone with her boyfriend, everyone in the bathroom can hear her conversation she’s pleading and bagging her boyfriend not to leave her and to come get her from work and from her voice I can tell his telling her no witch isn’t what she wanted to hear, so she continues talking to him telling him she won’t do something again and a bunch of other things (it’s raining outside) so she was also asking him to bring her the car he was clearly saying no, finally her boss comes to the bathroom and tells her she needs to come back and finish waiting on tables then she proceeds to tell her boyfriend “I’m going to lose my job” before walking out finally.

This is why I always say self love is so so important even when your in a relationship because in order to love someone you must love yourself first always and I remember in past relationships not having that for myself so I put up with way more then I should have. It was very clear to me that this girl didn’t seem to have to much love for herself as she’s on the phone bagging her boyfriend and crying on the phone in a bathroom stall it Made me think how many women even some men deal with issues and put up with things like this because sometimes they feel that no one else will love them or that’s the only person they can get or they settle because of fear of moving on.

This post isn’t just about that waitress or her story that she honestly should of kept separate from her job but it’s for anyone out there who has ever been in situations like this and who have felt like they weren’t good enough. You have to realize sometimes we get in this situations because people portray to be one way and then once you get to know them better it’s a whole different story. When I was in my abusive relationship,I thought he was great in the beginning until I really got to know him and see that he wasn’t a good person he grew up in single parent home no father present and his mom did the best she could yes in some aspect I think that effected him a lot as he got older.( yes I also know not all people from single parent homes exhibit bad behaviors) truth is growing up I was a Hugh daddy’s girls I did everything with my dad he was the man I most admired but as i grew into a teenager our closeness kind of faded away and I sometimes feel that’s the reason I dated all the wrong guys

Also I’m not blaming everything on my dad part of this was ME too (we have a great relationship now)

I remember not having self love and it caused a lot of heartache for me in the long run. I wanna really say make sure you pick the right partner don’t get into a relationship because your lonely or because you think his a good guy but then he or she turns out not to be at all. Once you get that self love you won’t allow anyone to ever hurt you because you will love yourself enough to never accept anyone not loving you the right way. I know it’s hard because it took me years to love myself and I mean years and sometimes when it comes to my weight I still struggle with the self love part a little only because I’m always thinking I could be smaller but that’s a whole other story however when I met my current boyfriend he really taught me how a women should be treated he never calls me out my name, never disrespects me, we don’t argue and he loves me for me, well take that back we may have disagreements here and there but it dosent involve yelling and cursing each other out. It’s like you agree to disagree. (Kind of like the sky is blue nope it’s green) type of disagreements.

So, never settle, never love anyone before you (accept your children of course) never let someone make you feel like it’s your fault or belittle you and treat you less then what you are worth because somewhere out there someone is out there who is willing to love you for who you are and love you right. Some days i still look in the mirror and realize how far I’ve come from my past and how better I’ve gotten at loving me and the people around me and not settling because I’m worth being treated good.

Never beg someone to be in your life once they leave let them go because that chapter has ended and a new one will began and it will have a great ending..

Learn to love you and learn to take care of you first always and I pray and hope that waitress tonight finds that self love and makes better choices when it comes to dating because I’m sure she deserve the world but can’t see that yet but I’m sure one day she will.

Self love is the best kind of love as I always say ❤️

5 ways to get over a break up/heartbreak.

relationships

Ok, so I blog a lot about love because let’s face it I’m a big fan of love and happiness so we all have had our heart broken at some point or another and it hurts. I know a lot of times we don’t know how to deal with it or even what to say when someone we know is going through a bad break up so I’m here today to share my thoughts and my opinions on what has helped me get through some tough breaks up.

Also…

No I’m not going through a

Break up!! Just wanted to put

That out there.

Let’s get started….

1. Don’t blame yourself-

I know a lot of times after a bad break up we tend to blame ourselves thinking “what did I do?” ” how can we fix what has happened” or “maybe I shouldn’t of said or done that” the reality is you can’t change everything that’s happened sometimes two people grow apart and realize it’s not meant to be (loving someone does not mean they are meant to be in your life) it’s not your fault take that blame off of you everything in life happens for a reason.

2. Spend time with family/friends-

In most cases when we get in a new relationship we get so wrapped up into that person that we forget our friends and family even exist every conversation is “Jason this Jason that” (an example) and it drives the people around us crazy sometimes.The best thing you can do is rekindle those friendships and go out with your girls for a night on the town. you never know what could happen or who you could meet, try going to a family function as well being surrounded by family can always lift your spirits up and if anyone asks about your former lover just simply reply with “I don’t wanna talk about it” or “can we talk about something else.”your not obligated to talk to anyone about your relationship unless you want too, the healing process takes time.

3. focus on finding yourself-

The biggest thing you can do is focus on YOU your newly single so this is the best time to get to know you again, do some things alone like go shopping or go get your nails done. Remember all those tv shows or movies your partner hated well lounge around and watch them, go outside and take a long walk, it will relive loads of stress and make you feel a whole lot better. There’s even support groups you can join(only if needed) try taking a trip out of town maybe but remember this is your time to figure you out and get to know yourself better. (don’t and I repeat don’t start talking to other people too quick because your not giving yourself any time to grieve or move on from your ex you cannot let someone else in to your space until your truly ready to close the last chapter and when your actually in the right state of mind to make good decisions.

4. Delete the pictures/phone numbers-

I know this is the hardest guys because pictures hold so many wonderful memories but they have to go you can’t hold on to something that is no longer with you. It’s not healthy to wake up and look at your photo gallery only to see pictures of your ex popping up. The moment when I’m done in a relationship the pictures immediately go because it no longer serves me a purpose to have that person in my phone. I know deleting numbers is also a tough one but sometimes it has to be done or they have to be blocked depending on how bad the break up was some people have a mature break up others don’t so sometimes you have to delete that number to have some peace of mind or maybe you change your number to start fresh again it’s all up to you and how you feel.

4. Live with no regrets-

So it didn’t work out it’s not the end of the world you will have other girlfriends/boyfriends in your lifetime so don’t look at it as a bad thing, I’m sure you have had some great times with that person and Made some wonderful memories, also think about positivity in the situation and have no regrets because at one point in time that person was exactly what you wanted and who made you happen even if things didn’t work out.

Try to find the positive in any situation because unfortunately break ups do happen and heartbreak comes along with it, you have to stay strong and know that you are loved and you are worth meeting the right person some day, don’t give up on love because your soulmate is somewhere out there waiting on you.

Also remember it’s ok to be single, never feel bad because you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend your time is coming and your main focus should always be YOU (self love is the best kind of love) always remember that.

❤️💜💙

My top 5 love/romance movies.

romance

Ok, so I know this is motivation Monday but we can always turn this into some love moments too right? So I’m sitting here thinking like why not share my favorite movies with you and why I love them so much, yes I’m a hopeless romantic, love makes the world go round. Ok ok enough of my rambling let’s get in to it.

Top 5

1. a walk to remember-

I fell in love with this movie for one because many Moore was in it and let me say Shane west killed his role as the loving bad boy. The movie really touched my heart in so many ways, it teaches you to be kind to others always and never judge a book by its cover although Shane West’s character came off a little rough around the edges he was actually a good guy who had a lot of love to give and Mandy Moore played the preaches daughter she was a good girl and I think they balanced each other out.

Ps: if you never seen this movie the ending is so sad but by now I’m sure most people have seen it( I even have it on dvd) love this movie definitely giving this five starts across the board.

2. Dear John-

Channing Tatum killed this role gave me the whole bad boy persona and then of course he left and I cried like a baby, Amanda Seyfried was beautiful as alway in this film she played her role so well plus this is the perfect love story and it ties into long distance relationships( one of my previous post) can they last? And how most people deal with them. It always goes to show you have to cherish the times you have with people because you never know what’s going to happen.

3.Romeo & Juliet-

This is such a classic love story the montagues and capulets it’s so beautiful seeing how Romeo and Juliet truly loved each other. Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes played these roles so well , I loved that they made a modern day version of this movie and I love how true love is seen in a different way/light. I’m sure a lot of people can relate to loving or liking someone who comes from a different background and maybe your family or friends don’t like that person or don’t see their potential but you do and true love is always worth fighting for only thing that I didn’t like was how it ended wish it was a better solution then, them both losing their lives.

4.Cruel intentions-

I know most people might be like this isn’t romance but in my opinion it is once you look pass everything that happened in the movie plus Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillipe made such a cute couple. ( not to mention he was super cute) I love how it all started out as a bet but as time went on he started to fall in love with her and wanted to change who he was to be with her, it’s always those un expected love stories that mean the most because you know your fighting for something that’s worth it, I wish his step sister hadn’t got all in the way but at least in the end Reese’s character can remember all the good times she had with him and she got the car so can’t go wrong with that either, Love is love.

5.raise your voice/a cinderella story

Ok so I kinda threw two movies in there sorry guys I loved both, so Hilary duff has an amazing singing/acting career and I absolutely loved her in these movies raise your voice was so sad when her brother passed away but she persevered and went on to her performing arts school, focused on her music and met a cute guy that accepted her for her even with the few bumps in the road they made their relationship work, a Cinderella story was so good it goes back to Cinderella and those wicked step sisters a modern day version but it’s so good, she was a great girl who only wanted the best for herself after her father passed but she got stuck with a wicked step mother and step sisters. I loved how in the end her and chad Michael Murray’s character make it all work out and it should let people know love does exist so never give up on it no matter what. (Also guys remember you are beautiful and don’t let no one tell you different.

Ok so these are my top 5 + 6 movies that I love and own most of these on dvd, yes I’m a sucker for a good love story and I live for a happy ending. I know that love does exist and if you don’t have it now one day you will (be patient) whatever your looking for is on its way. So In honor of motivation Monday remember to keep pushing ,stay motivated and love hard always/live with no regrets, it may not work out all the time but trust me the right person is out there(I’m a firm believer in soulmates) but I’ll save that for another post, enjoy the rest of this motivation Monday!

Also guys I’m going to do a part 2 to this post because I wanna add more movies.

Falling in love, 5 signs i knew (he) was the one.

relationships

Happy Sunday, waking up to another day full of life and the first thing on my mind was “love” in my opinion love is one of the most important things you can give someone it’s also one of the best feelings when it’s reciprocated back to you. I haven’t always had the best relationships and I have had my fair share of heart breaks and moments where giving up felt like the only option. I’m here today to share my story and to tell you the 5 signs that let me know my boyfriend was the one.

Everyone’s story is different

This is mine… let’s go on a

Little Journey..

I stated in a previous post (long distance relationships) how I met my boyfriend so I won’t go in to all that detail again but if you wanna know the story you can go check out that post. I remember a year ago being alone trying to be a single parent, working and trying to keep it all together in all honesty I wasn’t looking for love but along the way I kept meeting the wrong people and wasting my time. I was in the middle of giving up on love when I met my current boyfriend he was cute, sweet, loving and most of all he didn’t try to change me and he treated me like a queen and still does.

I was so use to dating guys who had abused me, called me out my name, constantly disrespect me, cheated on me and tried to control me that when he came into my life, I wasn’t sure what to expect. In the beginning I pushed him away a lot because of my fears and I wasn’t as open as I could of been. I did things that he didn’t understand but it was all to protect my heart from getting broken again. Eventually my walls came down and I noticed myself being relaxed with him, I noticed myself being able to talk to him about anything and I started to trust him. In my heart I started to see that he wasn’t like the others, that he was indeed different and it wasn’t just from his words but his actions spoke loud too, he was keeping his promises he would show up whenever I needed him, he made sure that I was ok and the biggest thing here, he excepted my daughter and made sure that we were both ok.

5 signs? Ok let’s get in to it..

1. He excepted my daughter

This is the biggest sign because the moment I explained to him my situation that I was a single parent and had a daughter he wanted to meet her and get to know her. When they met it was beautiful he spent time with her, played with her and got to know her better.

2. He excepted me for who I was

In all my relationships the guy always tried to change me I couldn’t be myself and I felt like I was living a lie honestly, when I met my current boyfriend he liked everything about me he excepted me for who I was he always tells me I’m beautiful and that I can accomplish whatever I want to in life he never wants me to be anything but my true authentic self.

3. He introduces me to everyone as his girlfriend not just “my friend”

This is a major one guys because if a guy/girl introduces you as a friend they are not that into you at all (my opinion) unless you really are just friends 🤷‍♀️ but when I’m dating someone and they say that inside I cringe. When I met his family/friends he said “this is my girlfriend cherelle” he never said this is my “friend” that’s always good, introduction is everything and the fact that he respected me enough and though of me enough to do that it meant a lot.

4. He has god in his life

I know not everyone is super religious I myself am not either but I do believe in god and I believe everything happens for a reason I was always taught that with god In your life/in your relationship nothing can go wrong and I’m glad that his on my level of spirituality and we both pray for each other. (If your not religious or don’t believe that’s fine I’m not judging at all everyone is different this is just my opinion/my story).

5. He has goals in life

Yes yes this is a good one, I’m very goal Oriented and I have a great career so of course the person I’m with has to be on the same level as me I’m not saying he has to be perfect but I want him to at least be striving to do the best he can in his life. My boyfriend has plenty of goals he knows what he wants out of life and strives to be better everyday. That’s so important when dating you and your partner should always want more and better things for yourself always (again I’m not judging at all just saying it’s always good to have goals in life you may not be where you want to be but always strive to get there, remember everyone has to start some where)

Again these are all my opinions and all the things they made me fall in love with my boyfriend, everyone’s story is different and of course I could of went on with more signs but those are the ones that came to mind when writing this post, remember love is out there so don’t give up on finding the one for you also there is nothing wrong with being single either. I was for a very long time,I spent most of that time trying to find myself and be happy with who I was.

I woke up thinking about “love” it’s Sunday guys so go spread some love and positivity.