anxiety

Stress|what helps me?

In life we all go through things weather it be in our personal life or professional life,we all deal with things and sometimes, we don’t always know how to handle our problems or even what to do when things in our lives get to be too much. I though it would be great to talk about it and also share some of my tips on how, I deal with stressful situations.

Anxiety..

It’s no secret that anxiety plays a big part in my life and it can definitely make stressful situations worse at times but, I will never shy away from this topic because it’s all about helping others and I want anyone out there who is suffering to know it does get better and you are not alone. My anxiety lately has been pretty good honestly and it’s been great for me and I’m learning still everyday how to deal with stressful situations, although it’s hard sometimes but as alway I’ll never give up ever.

Tips that help stress(what helps me)

Remember everyone handles stress differently so what works for me may not work for you.

Let’s get started..

1.spending time with my daughter-

this is one of the biggest things to help me, my daughter is my world and I love coming home to spend time with her and play in her room or eating ice cream this is definitely a good stress reliever, she always takes my mind off anything going on around me everyday and she makes me feel better when she gives me kisses and hugs,she will take her little hand and pat me on the back it’s cute πŸ™‚

2. Going out of town-

As you know my boyfriend lives two hours away, so I don’t get to see him as often as we both would like but whenever,I do go out of town to see him it helps me a lot because getting away from my home town is much needed sometimes, like when I had my recent situation with my child’s father unfortunately, it helped me a lot going to see my boyfriend and talking about it with him while he held me and listen to me vent for hours, he definitely loves me he has too, i talk his head off every chance I get. It’s funny because his very private and quiet and laid back and I’m the complete opposite but he evens me out( sorry for going off topic) you get the point.

3.watching my favorite show-

I love tv, I’m always glued to the television after a long day of work, usually watching cartoons with my daughter or watching something that I like, when I get off at 5 I always tune in to judge Mathis, I love court shows and I love seeing how the cases turn out, theirs also this new show on fox called “Rel” I watch and it’s really good and funny also,I like that new show on CBS called “neighbors” don’t quote me on it because the title is probably wrong but it has Cedric the entertainer in it, it’s very funny and of course I like a few reality tv shows or I’ll watch something on YouTube, Netflix or Hulu.

4.Reading a book/writing novels-

I love love to read like my name should be attached to Barnes and noble because I’m always there reading and I love the way the coffee smell hits me soon as the door opens, I could live in a bookstore literally. I read all kinds of books ranging from romance, to mystery to non fiction or fiction really whatever catches my eye. I also love to write novels ,so I have a bunch of stories I’ve written on my lap top and I have only let one person read them. it’s crazy but I’m funny about who reads my work, I don’t wanna jinx my work plus I have to make sure it’s good before anyone else can read it. Reading is always good for the soul it relaxes you and you get to zone out for a while.

5.taking my anxiety meds-

Let’s be clear these are only taken on a day where,I literally cannot handle anything and I have to be able to control myself or my thoughts so, I grab my pills and relax usually my medicine stays in my purse because, it’s always good to stay prepared I never wanna be away from home with no medicine, so I always make it a point to keep it on me at all times. yes they relax me and help me sleep, I remember the last time taking them my mom pointed out how calm and relaxed it made me, also she said I’m nicer so what does that tell you? But at the same token, I try not to take them everyday because I wanna try to see how my body will react without them but of course most of the time something will happen and then it’s all down hill from there but, yes the goal my doctor always tells me is to have me anxiety free but it’s been years of me dealing with it, so not really sure anything will change but I’m going to stay positive because you never know what can happen.

6. Not letting all the stress over power me-

It’s nothing much we can do when super stressed because we tell ourselves not to think about it but then then we still do it anyway, so the best/last tip I can give you is to let go and let god because it’s not much else you can do, but eventually things will get better in your life, so try not to let it effect you to the point of being depressed or not living your life because no matter what happens in life the world will always keep moving no matter what we have going on,so the best thing you can do is stay positive and count your blessings because it could be worse ,so to anyone out there dealing with stress it will get better I’m speaking it into existence for you, try meditating, yoga, going out with friends, prayer, or whatever works to distract you. You can do it guys I’m rooting for you!

Don’t let stress have you, beat stress up with a smile and positive energy.

anxiety

I’m back/what’s been going on (part 1) β€οΈ

Ok guys so I’m back finally, I missed doing this so much, I hope everyone is doing well, I’m finally ready to talk about what’s been going on so let’s get in to it.

Dealing with my dad..

Ok so in a previous post I told you guys my dad and I were closer, well lately it’s been nothing but bickering between him and I, I didn’t feel like he loved me or even cared he was constantly getting on me about every little thing and always telling me how to parent my daughter and honestly that got old quick. I went to my mom and expressed to her that I was tired of it all and that I was done trying to form a relationship with my father, she was not having that so she spoke with him about some of the things that I have been feeling towards him and our relationship, long story short we had a heart to heart and talked, I’m a big baby and I cried and he told me he loved me and we have since been moving towards a good space with each other ( it’s a work in progress) I think with time my dad and I can get back to having that close relationship we once had when I was younger. So I will definitely keep you posted on this and more.

My child’s father coming back into our lives..

In a previous post I stated that I was a single parent because my child’s father choose not to be around well out of the blue I get a text/call from him stating that he wants to be apart of his daughters life now and how he has changed. I’ve been waiting for this moment for a very very long time but it was also scary for me being that I’m in a new relationship and I wasn’t sure how my daughter would even react to meeting him. The conversation started off rocky we weren’t getting along and honestly I was giving up hope but we have turned it around sort of, I clearly have a long way to go before I can trust him or let him be alone with my daughter but we will have to keep trying until everyone is comfortable with it. This has been really hard and it’s causing me to have to re live moments that I personally don’t want too but I will do it all for my daughter. I’m going to hope and pray that he will do right by her and things will move in a good direction so that we can co parent the right way.

My job..

So things at work were going great and then they went left again because in my mind I feel like I’m always being targeted for some reason maybe because I choose to be quiet and stay to myself, so anyway long story short I’m thinking everything is good between me and the girls(co workers) well clearly I was wrong I’m always being blind sighted and it sucks when I’m always being a good person I felt in my eyes if their is a problem why not address me instead of talking about me as if I’m not in the room or proceeding to tell me how to do my job when your not my boss is all I’m saying, I feel as adults it’s ways you handle things and ways you don’t and I’m over being nice to people who clearly don’t deserve it. I have tried to be the bigger person over and over again but it seems to get me no where so I’m at the point of just staying to myself and not dealing with anyone. I will never get why some adults can be so catty and nasty for no reason it’s sad and pathetic to be honest like grow up is all I can say. I want to say more but of course I will reveal more in the part 2 I do on this story.

Conclusion..

Things have been so crazy these past few weeks omg like literally and I’ve been trying to deal with it all and be there for everyone around me at the same time, I won’t lie I’m scared my anxiety is about to flare up again and it’s scaring me because I’ve done so good with the no meds but with all these things going on it’s enough to send me spiraling back into another break down because honestly this is all crazy but all I can do is try to deal with it the best way I know how, also thanks so much for being patient with me during this time. I will definitively be doing a part 2 to this blog post because there is more. Enjoy your weekend guys, sending lots and lots of love your way ❀️

anxiety

My anxiety update/ how I’m feeling lately.

I haven’t really spoke about my anxiety lately or where I’m at with the whole situation, so I wanted to give a mini update on what’s been going on and basically how I’ve been feeling lately towards things in my life.

Let’s get started..

I know the last major anxiety attack that I had was at my job and since then things have been going pretty good for me for the most part, well I take that back I did have a moment recently where I was dealing with a situation with my car, well the other day I’m driving to work and I heard a loud noise in my back seat, the glass in my back window shattered, I was panicking so bad and just grateful my daughter wasn’t in the car so I had to go back home and call out of work and I was car less for two days, thankfully my mom let me borrow her car but I cried for days worrying about how I was going to pay for that on top of my other bills I had to pay.

God worked it out..

Everything ended up being ok guys because I managed to pay that and still got my other bills paid but I won’t lie it lead me into a panic for days worrying about it other then that nothing major has really been going on as always, I take it day by day I’m never really sure what’s going to happen in my day to day life or what could trigger my anxiety but I try not to think too much about it either, it’s easier when I’m keeping busy and not letting outside voices get into my head. I know that no matter what I do, it’s up to me to decided how I want my day to be and the outcome, I’m not saying cut your feelings off but learn to control them and boy can that be hard sometimes for me but I’m a work in progress.

It’s Friday..

Today I’m choosing happiness, I’m choosing to put me first and love me. It’s been a beautiful day so far, I got off work early, picked my daughter up, we played outside and now I’m watching her try to cook in the kitchen with her papa lol she tries my baby has so many talents. Take today and everyday and try to love yourself, learn about you and live in your truth always and don’t let your mental illness bring you down we all have battles we have to defeat but with a level head and support anything is possible so I challenge you today and everyday to find what makes you happy and enjoy the little things because it truly means a lot.

Anything is possible..

Remember guys life is beautiful and we should take advantage of every little opportunity we have. I won’t let my anxiety over take me I won’t let my emotions get the best of me today is a new day and I will enjoy it. So to anyone out there dealing with mental illness or fighting a daily battle you can get through this and I support you. You are loved always and please enjoy your Friday with lots of smiles and love.

It’s the weekend..

πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰πŸ₯‚πŸ˜Š

anxiety

Dealing with emotions/Panic and anxiety.

Guys I’m doing 100% better, needed to vent, everything is good now. I even spoke with my mom and she helped me feel better, there’s no ill feelings towards my co workers either. I had a bad anxiety moment ( still not sure what triggered it) but I feel a lot better(this was written hours ago) just now deciding to post it.

Today has started off so weird for me, I had a great morning everything appeared to be going right, then all of a sudden my co worker says something to me not in a mean way but I kind of took it that way. I went back into my office and started crying and I’m still unsure as to why it made me so upset or mad but Sometimes my job as much as I love it can cause me a lot of stress, it also feels like most times I’m being pulled in so many different directions and being told so many different things that it can be overwhelming.

I wake up everyday I’m always in a good mood, today was suppose to be a good day and it still can be,however now my body feels weird my chest is hurting me and I feel like I wanna be alone and away from everyone. My anxiety usually makes me feel like this at a times, I try my best not to let my anxiety or my emotions get the best of me but sometimes it happens because I’m human. I never like when little things happen to me and it sets me back from being in control of everything going on and as I sit here in my office I’m still wondering what could of triggered my reaction or caused me to get so upset.

I don’t wanna alarm my co workers and I don’t wanna confront anybody because even I’m not sure why this has happened maybe i got a little overwhelmed or maybe something is bothering me that’s now starting to come out, do you ever get so emotional or worked up and then forget what happens or why it even happened? I know I cannot be the only one. I hate feeling sad inside or feeling like no one understands what’s going on through my mind but of course we all know no one can read minds. My anxiety has now been triggered and I’ll have to deal with the after math.

So I’ll go ahead and be honest I feel “crazy” as in what the hell is going on with me and is this normal. I feel the need to grab my anxiety meds to help me but at the same time I’ve done so good without them, so of course I can’t back track. I wanna call my mom because she normally knows what to say or how to talk me down ,maybe even call my boyfriend but I know they are both at work and busy, maybe I’m over reacting and need to relax, take a deep breath and it will all go back to normal.

I know this post has a lot of me rambling on thanks for reading and listening, yes these are my thoughts at the current moment, I’m glad I got to vent and write them down, by the way writing this I am not mad at anyone (just wanted to express my current feelings) and if anyone out there is dealing with anxiety or any mental illness know that you are not alone and that you are loved and it’s going to get better.

Also I’m debating in my mind on posting this or deleting this so this may not get seen until Friday guys sorry.

I’ll figure it out thanks for reading and going on this crazy journey with me, gotta get back to work now ✌️