love

Life update 12/19 🙂

career, life, mental health

I’ve missed you all, I’ve missed blogging and being on here to post my thoughts and feelings. So much has happened over the past couple of months and it’s a lot so bare with me through out this post as I described it all to you.

Work life/Career:

I was working at a pain management clinic for the past three years as a medical assistant, it was great for a while and then things started to take a turn for the worse. I was so unhappy and it wasn’t feeling good anymore, I was being harassed and verbally abused daily by an employee who worked with me, I went to the doctor several times about her and he refused to do anything, he would rather lose me as an employee then fire the girl who causes drama, I even had a work best friend who was taking up for me and telling him things as well, he still continued to take her side and the final straw was when she kept trying to get me fired and then on top of that she was trying to strip my Job away from me and hire students to replace me, I was at my breaking point, so I walked out and quit and did my farewell it was the best decision for me, I texted my doctor my farewell and said goodbye to my three year job and it was the best decision, I’ve learned so much about myself through this process and I’m ready to let go of that place of employment and that past and move on to a better place to work. I’ve had a lot of interviews and I’ve been finding out what works for me and what, I love to do so with that being said I’m hoping to land a new Job soon and I’m always grateful for the support of my family/friends through this process ( also I had an amazing interview Wednesday and I hope I land this job). Keep you guys posted!

New Instagram:

I started a new Instagram guys!!! It’s my baby yes yes, it’s geared towards mental health and I make videos and do quotes, the page is up and running and I’m excited it’s still in the works, I don’t have a lot of followers yet but I’m still glad to be spreading my message to help others in need. So please go check out my page!! https://www.instagram.com/spreadloveawareness it’s my baby again so be kind and gentle with me, my goal is to help others any way that god will allow me too. It’s so many mental health pages on Instagram and it’s truly amazing to see so many people who are willing to help others and be there for one another. I love all the love being spread on that platform.

My new website:

I officially made a new website guys! It’s ok square space and again you gotta check it out, it’s geared toward mental health and helping others and what makes this page different is I have a store attached to it, where I’m going to be selling clothes and jewelry that’s have mental health slogans and sayings on them and I’m going to be getting a P.O. Box as well for anyone who wants to send me mail or letters or anything really and I’ll use that to send out the shirts and jewelry that will be made. It will all be up and running in January of 2020. So Check out my website and spread the support https://www.spreadloveawareness.com go take a look when your free, I’m so excited for what 2020 will be bringing for me and my advocacy and I’m hoping to be able to actually do public speaking in the future but one thing at a time for right now.

Relationship:

My boyfriend and I will be together for two years next month and it’s been a blessing, he has been so supportive of me through everything and I’m grateful for that, we made us work and no matter the obstacles we kept going and love won every time so don’t give up because love is worth it with the right person, so to anyone who’s single your love is waiting in 2020 with chocolates or roses ready to take you out and hopefully become your soulmate.

What I’ve learned:

Life will sometimes knock you down or take you through unexpected turns but it’s what you do to make it through the tough times and how you handle what happens to you, I will keep smiling and never give up when one door closes another will always open. Never let anyone bring you down or tell you that you are lesser because you are truly amazing, I can’t wait to see what 2020 holds for me. I’ll keep you guys posted on what’s next for me. I’m going to get better with posting. Promise! Enjoy your weekend ❤️

Standing strong..

mental health

I’m sorry for not being as present again, I’ve been dealing with so much lately and it has taken a Hugh toll on me mentally and physically. I’ve been struggling really bad with my mental health and trying to stay above it all and when things get tough it’s hard for me to want to do anything to be honest.

My job-

Has been pure hell lately, my office manager is horrible and mean and beats me down daily she even treats the patients like crap and the worse part is my dr can’t even see the things she does he thinks she’s perfect as always. I’ve been majorly depressed behind working there lately. I’m constantly being picked at about everything. It’s been so hard lately but I do have some good news I had a job interview Friday and I have another one Monday so keeping my fingers crossed that someone will hire me soon.

My weight-

It’s no secret I’ve gained some weight, I won’t get in to detail about how much or what lead to it, I’m in the process of trying to get help with that, I meet my new nutritionist on August 30 so we can discuss my new meal plan. I’m looking forward to getting back to my old self again. I also wish people didn’t body shame others or make them feel bad that’s never ok, please don’t body shame or make fun of anyone for the way they are. It really bothers me that people actually think it’s ok to tell someone they gained weight or tell them what they need to do in order to lose it, I didn’t ask for your opinion so please keep it, I already know what needs to be done and will handle it on my own when I’m ready.

My dad-

I love my dad, we haven’t been seeing eye to eye lately though at all, it’s hard for me to stay here sometimes especially when things are so crazy I’m dealing with work drama and then dealing with my dad does not help either sometimes. Its been crazy because getting beat down at work and then coming home to my dad basically doing the same things is killing me honestly. I wish my dad knew how to actually talk to me instead of talking at me. I know that’s how some dads are but it’s hard to have a conversation like that when I’m feeling defensive the whole time and it leads to me being sad and of course trying to figure out what to do next. Don’t get me wrong parents are a blessing but sometimes I’m not sure they exactly know how to talk with us sometimes.

Depression-

Being sad and crying all the time has started again, it went away but now it’s back again and I’m finding Myself crying every week now and being miserable. It’s hard when things get like this because the only thing my mind wants to do is shut down from the world and block everyone out. I try to keep going for my daughter but it’s been tough. My mental state could be better but it’s one of those things that has to take its time before it goes away and actually gets better. I’m hoping in due time things will be back to normal.

Faith-

The good news is, I’ve finally found a church home that my daughter and I both like we joined the new church last Sunday and I’m looking forward to being with this church for many many years, honestly my faith is what keeps me going and keeps me sane most days. When we have nothing at all, I know that god is with me and he has my back. I try to stay prayed up and always make sure to count my blessing always.

Conclusion-

I’m hoping things will get better soon, I’m hoping the next time I write a post, I will have good news to tell you guys about the job situation. I’m sorry for being gone again so long, life has once again threw a wrench in my plans but it’s ok no matter what, I will pull through and things will get better. Enjoy your Saturday I’m off to wash my hair and relax with a good movie.

So excited!! Happy Sunday!

mental health

I’m sorry for the two days of no posting, so much has been going on, I was out of town and the biggest thing, I adopted a dog and named him bean. Guys I’m so in love! My co worker/ best amiga (friend) Andrea took me to the SPCA https://richmondspca.org this is their website if you wanna check it out it they do great things for animals like dogs and cats. It’s basically a shelter and they get animals that have been found and take care of them. You can go in and adopt them. You have to fill out paper work and have an interview process and they allow you to spend time with the dog, then you can decide weather you wanna adopt or not. SPCA is state wide and they do great things in the community so if your thinking about adopting a dog or cat it’s a great place.

The dog, that I’ve adopted “bean” is what my daughter named him. The thing that stuck out to me the most is that he suffers from anxiety and when the counselor told me that, it made me think about my situation with my anxiety. I know most people might be thinking why would you get a dog like that, when you have anxiety and the answer is simple, we can help each other and when he has moments of anxiety it’s easy for me to recognize the signs and help him relax or hold him till he feels better. Honestly I’m always thinking only us as humans have problems or deal with hard things but going to the shelter showed me that animals deal with the same things that we do and it goes un noticed because we don’t look at them as being human or having feelings because they are animals, when the reality is they do. It’s definitely something, I’m going to educate myself on to learn even more.

Everything right now is great in my life, except the “Job” situation witch is still a work in progress for me, but I did get a call for an interview Friday so will see what happens,I’m hoping to be in a new job by the end of the year or the beginning so have to stay positive about that. I did have a crazy weekend but that’s another story and I’m the end it all came together and worked out . The high light was adopting my dog and seeing my boyfriend for two days. None the less it’s the little things that really do keep us going in this world. I’m looking forward to whatever is next.

I’m off to go clean my car out and go give the dog a bath before, I take a well needed nap because let’s be honest, I barley slept any this weekend I’m such a worry wart. I did manage to go to church and that was amazing as usual. So enjoy this beautiful Sunday and remember to spread love wherever you are today.

What makes you happy!

Sunday inspiration

This is my challenge for you today, figure out what makes you happy and no materialistic things. Think about the positive and what makes you smile and what makes you feel alive and keeps you going everyday.

1. My daughter

2.my career

3.love for god

Those are the three things that make me the happiest in this world. So now I’m challenging you to think of your happiness. Enjoy your Sunday ❤️ think happy thoughts and start to see positive results.

Sunday “my happy place”

Sunday inspiration

I woke up this morning excited for church but also excited for another day of life. I feel great knowing my anxiety is in check, my depression isn’t nearly as bad and mostly everything in my life for the most part feels in order.

I still weep for the people out there who still don’t know where their next meal is coming from or don’t know where their life is heading next. I’m always watching the homeless people that stand on the side of the road asking for food or money. I wonder about their back stories and what keeps them going everyday. My co worker always stops to give them money she has a good heart and she would help the whole world if she could.

I wish, I could save everyone who wanted to give up on life and let them know it’s going to be ok, the countless stories of suicide all over the news makes me sad, I wonder what led them to that place and why no one intervened to help. The deeper that, I get into church and my religion, I’m starting to understand more about people and also the changes that,I need to make within myself. I get it no ones life is perfect not even mine some days are better than others. I try to stay above it all and not think too much on the negative.

Life can put you in dark spaces sometimes, believe me I’ve been there countless times, where I wonder why I’m still here and when it would get better, going from the girl who cried everyday to now being able to deal with my problems better is an accomplishment for me. I continue pushing no matter how hard life gets. It’s never easy but it’s always worth it, I will always believe that it’s ways to get around my anxiety. sometimes I’m often wondering will I be on medicine for the rest of my life or will the day come where it’s no longer needed, honestly it’s become safe for me to be on medication then without it. Some function better when they are medicine free me on the other hand it helps a lot.

I hope everyone will have a wonderful Sunday keep praying for better days and keep a positive mind, God will guide you and get you through the next steps in your life. It may seem hard today but believe me it does get better. So to anyone struggling, know I’m here for you and please don’t give up.

Valentine’s Day ❤️

relationships

In honor of valentines days we have to make this a post about love.

https://anchor.fm/CherelleH/episodes/Valentines-Dayrelationship-talk-e374un

Go check out my podcast today guys. It’s all about love and relationships and I’m sure you will enjoy.

I do wanna talk about something thought let’s talk about being happy weather you are single or not, I notice each year women and even men get upset or down around this time well I’m here to say it’s ok to be single and not have a valentine I’ve gone a lot of years with no valentine and trust me it’s not the end of the world as I’ve said on my podcast this morning the person you are with should make you feel special year around not only for one day remember that guys and also remember to give lots of hugs today and show love.

I wanna give you guys some cute v day tips so I’ll do one for people who are single and people who are in a relationship on how to enjoy your day.

Single-

Tips to get through the day.

1. Love yourself

2. Hang with friends/family

3.treat yourself

4.get chocolate or candy for yourself

5.enjoy being single and don’t sit in your emotions.

In a relationship-

Tips to enjoy your Valentine’s Day

1.keep it simple

2. Go out to eat

3. Give flowers/candy

4. Relax at home with movies

5. Enjoy each other’s company

Conclusion-

It’s one day and it’s your day to enjoy yourself and have a good time. Please please have fun today and enjoy this day of love and romance.

Ps: Remember your in charge of your happiness don’t let anyone or anything bring your down.

Losing you.

relationships

I watched her every day, I watched her lose herself more and more, she stumbles to find the balance between reality and what isn’t real, She walks down this long road she calls life. She wants to smile but her smile has been broken down by everyday life. She longs to be loved, she longs for the boy who said he would always be there to actually show it, she screams out in anger, she’s carrying his child but does he care? No, he instead pretends her cries don’t matter and day in and day out she pretends to be happy, she pretends she’s ok and no one knows the truth behind her eyes no one sees the pain she endures.

She never asked for any of this she never asked to be a single parent. She never asked to be doing it all alone. “Do you even care” she yells out but of course she knows the answer to that already, he will never know the countless nights she sat up alone with a baby, the countless cries she had to endure. It was an embarrassment when she looked around to see all her friends happy with their relationship and to see hers crumbling. I knew he was no good for me so, why did I pick him, why did I trust him what made him so different? She was lost and he was there to pick up the pieces.

She never wanted to get hurt, she never wanted to get caught in his lies or games but it happened. She looks back every day and she smiles now because he no longer has a hold on her, he no longer can control her and he no longer can make her feel bad anymore. She stands tall with her beautiful daughter, great career and amazing people around her. It will always be ok, it will always get better, she now knows that.

For anyone out there don’t ever allow anyone to have a hold on you or take your happiness. You are beautiful and loved and life gets better. Stay positive!

My favorite thanksgiving meals.

holidays/thanksgiving

Ok guys I’m back again, I apologize for going missing again, I’ve been so busy with work and amongst other things and I’ve been neglecting my blog, I promise to do better guys. The holidays are coming up so why not talk about thanksgiving and what my favorite holiday dishes are, so let’s get in the spirit and let’s get into it.

The main course-

Turkey- I love turkey well sometimes it’s a light food and it’s healthy and has great protein and for those out there who don’t like turkey you can always substitute it with another meat that Taste better not everyone has turkey on thanksgiving I’m sure.

Greens- so it’s kind of a tradition my mom always makes greens every year except on Christmas she will make strong bean casserole witch I do love a lot. This is also very healthy and taste good so it’s good especially when dieting.

Mac/cheese- yes I love my Mac and cheese it’s so good my dad makes the best but my mom tries lol it’s still good though but it’s one of my favorites to eat I can eat Mac and cheese all day long literally lol but you gotta eat that in moderation.

Stuffing- stuffing is so good with gravy it’s the best my mom always makes too much of it though luckily all the guest eat it all so it works out in the end again eat this in moderation.

Rolls- yes bread has lots of carbs but I can’t resist on thanksgiving I love my rolls I eat at least two I won’t even lie it’s so good fresh out the oven with butter yummy I get hungry talking about it lol.

Can’t forget..

Potato salad- another family tradition like I wonder if we will switch it up one day and do just plain mash potatoes I wouldn’t mind something new and different but again everyone loves it so we stick too it for now and yes it’s good.

Dessert-

Apple pie- so normally every year I do an apple pie this year I’m making a chocolate cake by scratch to try something new and I got the recipes off my apps so it’s healthier then the normal cake you would bake you substitute the oil with yogurt so yes I will tell you how that turns out

Sweet potato pie- this is another family tradition my mom bakes two of these pies every year and of course we usually don’t have any left over because it’s a guest favorite. I normally don’t eat it because at that time I wasn’t even eating sweet potatoes but this year I may try it, you never know.

Coconut cake- my aunt usually makes coconut cake every year it’s her favorite cake to bake and it’s actually perky good even though I’m not really a fan of coconuts or the flavor I still try it out every year and it’s not half bad.

Also..

Cookies- so sometimes when I don’t do cakes or pies I bake cookies usually I do peanut butter cookies and I take Hershey cookies and place them in the middle it’s so good and a family favorite so maybe I’ll make it for Christmas you never know.

So thanks for allowing me back into your homes, it’s been fun blogging today but gotta get myself ready for work tomorrow, I will definitely be blogging more soon and I know I say this all the time but I’m coming back guys I really am, if I haven’t posted by thanksgiving I hope you all enjoy your holiday and time off if you get time off. Sweet dreams 😴

Does age really matter|when dating|in relationships!

relationships

FYI I’m not promoting someone who is super old to date someone 17 or under/ or the other way around, just wanted to put that out there when it comes to this topic I would never promote that.

I been thinking about this post for two days now and I keep posing the question in my mind, I hear it constantly being talked about online also in person and it makes me wonder does age really matter at all?

My Story:

In my early 20’s I dated a guy who was 30 and it never really bothered me, he saw me as his equal and I didn’t treat him like he was older, we had a some what of a great relationship but every couple has it’s ups and downs. I did realize some people were like your really dating someone that old or she’s so young but it never really bothered us and I remembered my grandma telling me she was happy for me but again that relationship didn’t last for other reasons but the age never really bothered me.

Fast forward:

My boyfriend and I now are two years apart, I feel so old don’t even wanna reveal my age but what the hell who cares right? So anyway when we met he was 26 and I was 28 well fast forward I’m a year older now and his 27 the point is age should not matter his not immature I’m not strict or trying to be his mother because I’m older we really mesh together he gets me and I get him, his my best friend and the best thing that’s ever happened to me age doesn’t matter when you love someone so why do people make such a big deal about it?

Let’s get down to the bottom..

People really need to let others be happy, worry about yourself and not other people. stop preaching and telling people how they should live their life or what they should be doing. Age doesn’t matter it’s what in that persons heart and think about it this way, someone could be the same age as you and still be immature someone who is older could still be immature it’s really no way of telling but it’s whoever your compatible with and when looking to date age shouldn’t effect how you feel for a person. Going back to favorite motto “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” choose happiness and let others be happy as well.

Final words..

I feel like society puts so much pressure on the world when it comes to certain things and it’s sad that we fall prey to what society thinks about us or how we should be when it’s not even necessary to be that way, Life is short so Do whatever makes you happy and don’t worry about what others are going to say or think. Age is a number it does not matter and we should all be happy and love hard. So to anyone out there who is dating someone older or younger don’t listen to outside voices do what makes you happy and live your life.

I’m sorry this is so short, I’m kind of taking a mini blog break again gotta hit the reset button so me not blogging as much means I’m taking a mini break but I’ll still try to blog in between. Sometimes I value my “me time” nothing against anyone Just need time to clear my head. Enjoy your Wednesday night I’m off to relax then off To bed 🙂

Bad relationships/why do we stay?

relationships

The reason I’m making this blog post is because we all have that one friend or family member who has been with the wrong guy or girl and we continue to tell them over and over it’s not going to work but to them we sound crazy and should mind our business, well today at work we had girl talk and of course the topic of discussion was relationships and how we feel about certain things that men/women tend to do and why do we stay sometimes even when we’re miserable.

Let’s get started..

So one of my co workers is currently dealing with a relationship dilemma,she’s not sure weather she should leave her relationship or stay. she’s not happy but doesn’t want to leave him “when his down” as she says and honestly I think a lot of women feel this way, I know I’ve stayed in many bad relationships because, I thought I loved that person and I thought things Would work out but it didn’t and it left me stuck and full of emotions and trying to figure out how to deal with them. So then poses the question is love really enough? Honestly in my opinion it’s not you can love the hell out of someone but love is not going to keep me there especially when I’m miserable and unhappy. I’ve learned that I have to love me first and do what makes me happy.

Let’s dig deeper..

In all my past relationships I wasn’t happy with myself and it caused me to cling to the wrong type of men,in my mind they loved me but it wasn’t love at all it was me being stuck in bad situations and thinking it was enough when clearly it wasn’t, I was always finding myself pondering back and fourth trying to please others over myself and no matter how many times i got hurt it never stopped me from giving love a try again even though in my mind it was clear what the outcome would be, my heart indured so much pain and it cause me more heartache then anything and it honestly wasn’t worth it in the end. I will also add this if you feel like you have to cheat on your partner because they are not giving you attention or you are that miserable being with them, my biggest suggestion is move on and leave them don’t hurt that person because you are hurting that’s make no sense to me at all and I seen it happen to many time with friends or people I know so leave the situation don’t make things even worse.

When do we start to love us enough..

It really breaks my heart to see women even men with the wrong person and watch them waste their time so many times over and over and at some point we have to have that self love for ourselves because when we don’t it turns in to us picking the wrong person to be with, I’m always challenging people around me to stay single and focus on themselves until they really know what they want and can find self love first before beginning to love another person. In the end it causes a lot of unresolved problems and causes us to resent that person even though we had a choice to leave or stay. I watch my co worker talk daily about her relationship and anything you say to her she gets mad because she has talked herself into being happy when in reality she’s not she vents and complains to us daily and we give her advice but she never takes it and in no way shape or form am I degrading her or trying to make her look like a bad person because trust me I’ve been that girl before in relationships I more so wanted to use her story as an example to help others because we have all been there at one point in time.

Conclusion..

At the end of the day I hate to say it but we only have ourselves to blame when we choose to be in bad relationships with the wrong person because the door is always open but we chose to leave it closed. I hope that this helps someone out there know that you are loved and the right person is coming to you so be patient and keep being you also don’t jump too quick into relationships without knowing more about the person and always always make sure to love you first. I’m rooting for each and every one of you and I know things will be ok. Stay positive my sweeties.

I have to get back to work now we’re starting to get busy ✌️