mental health

This truly makes me sad..

I try to always keep a level head, I try to see everyone’s point of view and I try not to do the whole back and fourth arguing with people because it gets us no where. It truly saddens me and breaks my heart to see people with mental illnesses shaming other people who have mental illnesses like what the hell? How dare someone who suffers shame another person dealing with the same thing. You cannot tell someone else’s story when your not in that persons shoes.

People always say to me “oh you look so happy”, “your always so pulled together” or “are you ever sad” the truth is so much goes through my head daily I’m happy some days other days I’m depressed and my anxiety is all over the place but whenever I’m around people they would never know because I’m so good at covering it up and not letting anyone know I’m broken. People have to realize you can be happy or come off happy to others and still not be ok. Last weekend, I was with my boyfriend and I was telling him a story on how I was driving and I had this image of a cliff and I was falling off the cliff and my (child’s father) was on the top and he was holding on to my hand and I was so miserable and wanted to get away from him in my mind, I wanted him to let me fall. The whole time I’m telling my boyfriend this story he was in shock he couldn’t believe that my mind went to that place. Certain things/people can trigger my anxiety so bad and those are the people I cannot be around.

I was on twitter last night and someone who suffered from depression stated that a friend saw them out and said “you don’t look depressed to me” then it started the question in the comments “what does depression, look like?” The answer to that is clear, depression doesn’t have a look to it someone can be so happy and still be miserable at the same time. It’s not nice or kind to try to diagnose someone or tell them what they have or don’t have you may not understand what that person is going through but it doesn’t give you the right to judge them or make them feel even worse about it. Treat others the way you want someone to treat you.

I feel like some people get picked on over and over for things they have done or not done and it’s not ok, you have to realize someone with a mental illness does not have the same mind set as someone who doesn’t so to those who don’t get it at all, I suggest you educate yourself or start off by asking questions before you jump to conclusions or start diagnosing someone. Everyone’s mind is different and everyone thinks differently but it doesn’t make them not human we all bleed the same, we all feel the same pain we’re a lot more alike then different in some ways. I also will say please don’t jump on the bandwagon, I hate when I read a comment that’s negative online and then a bunch of other people will comment negativity and in my mind, I’m like aren’t you the same person who wrote something positive a minute ago like please have a mind of your own is all I’m saying even if it means standing alone. “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything” great quote by Alexander Hamilton and it speaks volumes especially for the society we live in today.

I speak on mental illness so much now since starting this blog, because I’m realizing how important it is and that everyone needs a voice to be heard, it was always important to me but I never really had a platform to speak about it on and now with my blogging, I can use my voice and stand for what I believe in. My biggest thing is more people should be educated on it so when situations arise they know how to handle them or they aren’t mis informed. I see so much bullying when it comes to these type of stigmas and it’s sad because we should be coming together not being against one another. I wanna continue to use my voice and speak on my experiences and hopefully it will help others.

It’s Sunday it’s relaxation day so I won’t keep going on with my rant but I’m sure you get the point so display some love today and relax before work Monday. I’m off to the store with my daughter now ✌️😊

Halloween

My favorite Halloween movies 🎥

Ok, so Halloween is right around the corner so why not share some of my favorite movies to watch every year around this time. What is everyone going to be for Halloween? Your never too old to dress up(my opinion) I still have to get my daughter a costume, so will see how it goes also I’m not thrilled that it’s on a Wednesday either, can it fall on a Friday next year? Just saying 🤷‍♀️enough of my little rant let’s gets started.

1. Michel Myers- Halloween

This has to be number one, like come on this movie has been around since, I was a kid and it’s gotten even popular since then,for one I’m petrified of this man like I would hate to be in his hometown on Halloween, you definitely gotta watch your back the whole time. I use to love Jaime Lee Curtis in all those movies she played his sister so well, I was sad when he killed her though. I have to get around to watching it this month maybe this weekend it will happen for me. (There’s a new Halloween in theaters now so go see it)

2. Child’s play-chucky

Not even going to lie typing this makes me cringe, I’ve always been scared of chucky that doll was so powerful and scary at the same time, poor Andy went through a lot dealing with him. I couldn’t do it, my nerves would of been so bad. I can’t get my daughter a doll like that, she’s already in love with Elmo so we will leave it there no need to recruit chucky right now. I’ve watched all his movies but the last one I saw on Netflix wasn’t that good, they tried but it missed the bar at least for me. If you wanna check it out look on Netflix.

3. Scream-

This movie is another favorite, I even see kids wearing costumes like it on Halloween, I loved nev Campbell in these movies she was so pretty and innocent. I also loved how it was about them being in high school and being young and learning. I would of be scared to death though knowing a killer would have been at my high school, it would of been a lot of sick days for me but anyway this a great movie, I’m sure most people have seen it but if not go watch!

4.hocus pocus-

Yes yes, I remember watching this movie as a kid it was so good and I was literally glued to the tv, this movie is also child friendly, I can’t wait till my daughter ask me to watch this movie it’s a classic for sure, also I’m scared of witches now lol but this is a great movie so watch with your kids and you it can turn in to a family fun night for everybody.

5.Casper-

Who can forget Casper the friendly ghost omg adorable another movie, I watched growing up it was my favorite. Then you get to see kids running around in sheets pretending to be ghost 👻 who can not find that adorable, again this is another movie, I can’t wait to watch with my daughter she’s going to laugh I’m sure and ask a bunch of questions but it’s still going to be cute. So watch this movie with your family it will be great.

I have to do a part two as always before the month is over. So many other great movies! Hope everyone is enjoying this beautiful Saturday even though it’s a little chilly, fall is officially here time for mittens and hats and lots of hot chocolate.

anxiety

Stress|what helps me?

In life we all go through things weather it be in our personal life or professional life,we all deal with things and sometimes, we don’t always know how to handle our problems or even what to do when things in our lives get to be too much. I though it would be great to talk about it and also share some of my tips on how, I deal with stressful situations.

Anxiety..

It’s no secret that anxiety plays a big part in my life and it can definitely make stressful situations worse at times but, I will never shy away from this topic because it’s all about helping others and I want anyone out there who is suffering to know it does get better and you are not alone. My anxiety lately has been pretty good honestly and it’s been great for me and I’m learning still everyday how to deal with stressful situations, although it’s hard sometimes but as alway I’ll never give up ever.

Tips that help stress(what helps me)

Remember everyone handles stress differently so what works for me may not work for you.

Let’s get started..

1.spending time with my daughter-

this is one of the biggest things to help me, my daughter is my world and I love coming home to spend time with her and play in her room or eating ice cream this is definitely a good stress reliever, she always takes my mind off anything going on around me everyday and she makes me feel better when she gives me kisses and hugs,she will take her little hand and pat me on the back it’s cute 🙂

2. Going out of town-

As you know my boyfriend lives two hours away, so I don’t get to see him as often as we both would like but whenever,I do go out of town to see him it helps me a lot because getting away from my home town is much needed sometimes, like when I had my recent situation with my child’s father unfortunately, it helped me a lot going to see my boyfriend and talking about it with him while he held me and listen to me vent for hours, he definitely loves me he has too, i talk his head off every chance I get. It’s funny because his very private and quiet and laid back and I’m the complete opposite but he evens me out( sorry for going off topic) you get the point.

3.watching my favorite show-

I love tv, I’m always glued to the television after a long day of work, usually watching cartoons with my daughter or watching something that I like, when I get off at 5 I always tune in to judge Mathis, I love court shows and I love seeing how the cases turn out, theirs also this new show on fox called “Rel” I watch and it’s really good and funny also,I like that new show on CBS called “neighbors” don’t quote me on it because the title is probably wrong but it has Cedric the entertainer in it, it’s very funny and of course I like a few reality tv shows or I’ll watch something on YouTube, Netflix or Hulu.

4.Reading a book/writing novels-

I love love to read like my name should be attached to Barnes and noble because I’m always there reading and I love the way the coffee smell hits me soon as the door opens, I could live in a bookstore literally. I read all kinds of books ranging from romance, to mystery to non fiction or fiction really whatever catches my eye. I also love to write novels ,so I have a bunch of stories I’ve written on my lap top and I have only let one person read them. it’s crazy but I’m funny about who reads my work, I don’t wanna jinx my work plus I have to make sure it’s good before anyone else can read it. Reading is always good for the soul it relaxes you and you get to zone out for a while.

5.taking my anxiety meds-

Let’s be clear these are only taken on a day where,I literally cannot handle anything and I have to be able to control myself or my thoughts so, I grab my pills and relax usually my medicine stays in my purse because, it’s always good to stay prepared I never wanna be away from home with no medicine, so I always make it a point to keep it on me at all times. yes they relax me and help me sleep, I remember the last time taking them my mom pointed out how calm and relaxed it made me, also she said I’m nicer so what does that tell you? But at the same token, I try not to take them everyday because I wanna try to see how my body will react without them but of course most of the time something will happen and then it’s all down hill from there but, yes the goal my doctor always tells me is to have me anxiety free but it’s been years of me dealing with it, so not really sure anything will change but I’m going to stay positive because you never know what can happen.

6. Not letting all the stress over power me-

It’s nothing much we can do when super stressed because we tell ourselves not to think about it but then then we still do it anyway, so the best/last tip I can give you is to let go and let god because it’s not much else you can do, but eventually things will get better in your life, so try not to let it effect you to the point of being depressed or not living your life because no matter what happens in life the world will always keep moving no matter what we have going on,so the best thing you can do is stay positive and count your blessings because it could be worse ,so to anyone out there dealing with stress it will get better I’m speaking it into existence for you, try meditating, yoga, going out with friends, prayer, or whatever works to distract you. You can do it guys I’m rooting for you!

Don’t let stress have you, beat stress up with a smile and positive energy.

positivity

Stop promoting negativity/be positive.

So I’m at work minding my business and had some down time today In between patients so I’m scrolling through Twitter and Instagram like I do everyday and I see a post by a women saying “why are men so stupid?” My first though was wait a minute did she really write that then I decided to scroll through some comments of course most men were not happy about this post one man even proceeds to say ” why don’t women shut the F*** up when you ask them too” (he also threatens a women who leaves a comment under what he said) I really was appalled at this for one I don’t feel she should have made the comment because it goes back to the old saying every parent teaches their child “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” Maybe she was having a bad day either way things could have been said differently and I get it’s that persons page and they can post whatever they like but at the same time be prepared for the repercussions of your actions.

I don’t agree with a man disrespecting a women at all period, it says a lot about how you were raised and how you will treat any women you date. Their are so many domestic violence situations out there so for anyone to take a comment that far it’s ridiculous also we need to learn we may not always agree with what someone says but we don’t always have to react either,learn to walk away. I read through so many comments and most of them were negative, women going back in fourth men trashing women it was crazy. It’s so disappointing to see people act crazy online it’s like don’t fall for the bait don’t do it and conduct yourselves a little better some things don’t need a reaction as I’ve said already.

Another story..

Something also really triggered me this morning as well when I’m on Twitter and I see a girl post a picture of herself she’s clearly been beaten by her boyfriend her face has cuts and bruises and theirs blood so she goes on to say “my man may beat me sometimes but at least I have a man” I’m at a loss for words at this point because it’s sad and she’s making a joke about this when so many women are being abused daily and can’t even get help or have no way out, it’s like how dare she make a mockery out of something so serious, the sad part is this young girl really needs help to even think that being abused is ok ever theirs a Hugh problem there. Being abused is nothing to play with at all people have lost their lives to these not only that but it tells me she doesn’t love herself at all to even think this way, I really hope this girl gets help and I hope she realizes what she deserves and I pray she’s being watched over as we speak.

If you or someone you know is being abused please seek help check out my previous post about my abusive relationship and please click on the website I left it may save your life today…

Always remember do not ever allow someone to bait you to the point where your doing something or saying something you shouldn’t be doing. Spend time around people who bring positivity in your life and stay away from any negativity, try to be careful with your words and don’t allow one bad moment to break you. If you see anything negative online please ignore it you don’t have to give the other person any satisfaction and you don’t have to let them win.

I challenge you to spend some time away from social media and enjoy your day don’t allow someone to take you out of your character because you know who you are and the next time you get ready to post something negative think to yourself “do I really need to post this, is this really that important” post something positive.

I’m sorry for the rant guys all this really caught me off guard and I wanted to speak my peace. I hope you all enjoy your Thursday I’m going to enjoy my mini break before going back in to work. Remember love somebody today and give them lots of hugs 🤗

self-love

It’s ok to be different :)

Growing up I never really fit in with the cool kids I was always marching to the beat of my own drum, I went to high school with all kinds of kids from jocks, the cheerleaders, the I’m too good to hang with you group(popular group if you wanna say), the nerds and the emo kids. I would always get picked on for being different and I never felt good enough. The girls I had grown up with since elementary school started to become my friends again in high school they were all well known and as long as I hung with them, well I became well known too.

For years I stuck with them until one day I decided I needed to break away, I needed to find out who I was and being in that group didn’t fit me anymore so my uncles wife ,well his stepdaughter(her daughter) moved in with them and she became my new friend she didn’t fit into the standards of being popular she never cared what anyone though of her either, she listened to all the linkin Park songs and three days grace and even more and she took me into a world that I never knew. We did everything together practically she even introduced me to all her friends and hanging with them became the norm for me.

One day she decided school wasn’t for her anymore so she dropped out and that left me alone and trying to figure out who I was, I couldn’t go back to old group of friends because well it wasn’t the same anymore and in some way they had moved on from me. I eventually met other people of course but still I knew I was nothing like most people, all my life I had been told I was weird or different and it use to bother me until one day I decided not to care anymore because well it was true and so what, I didn’t wanna fit into these molds anymore, I wanted to be me.

I’m now older and I still am that weird/different girl and I love everything about it. I listen to all kinds of music whether it be rock, country, pop or r&b it dosent matter I dress how I feel and converse are my favorite shoes. I wear my hair the way I want too and I dont care about fitting in with anyone because I love me and the people who don’t well that’s their personal problem. I will always be true to me and that’s all that matters. You don’t have to be like anyone except yourself remember that.

always always love you and don’t change yourself for anybody and I mean anybody you don’t have to fit in or be popular or do anything you don’t want too. I consider myself a loner because honestly i spend most of my days alone and I like it that way, yes I have a group of amazing friends in my life who except me for me (I grew up with them) they take me as I am and never try to change me, we’re all moms now with families and it’s pretty cool how life has changed us and made us who we are.

I say all this to say love being you, love being different and never change guys ever because your smile can change the world and you don’t have to be anybody but YOU.

anxiety, mental health

telling someone what to feel/ how they are and what mental health issues they have. (It’s never ok)

So I’m a little mad writing this because it really bothers me when people try to tell someone with mental health issues that they don’t have depression or anxiety or even bi polar. (I know there’s others as well, sorry I didn’t list them all) You never know what a person is going through and that person knows their bodies better than anyone else. So many cases go undetected because of people thinking that way “‘ nothings wrong with my son” “she will be ok” or “you don’t have any mental health issues, it’s all in your head” things like this are not ok to say when someone is dealing with issues that even they sometimes are unaware of.

I was on twitter and read a post from a women who seems to think that people shouldn’t diagnose themselves because things happen in life and it’s normal, She also goes on to say we throw out these words for no reason, (for attention) Well first off when I first got diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) I was in college and I knew something was wrong with me before even seeing my doctor. My therapist was the first one to tell me I had anxiety from there I went to see my doctor who officially confirmed it after talking with me and doing “test” of his own. I’ve had it for years now and try not to let it define me and try my best to live a happy/good life.

My point here is, are you a doctor? Are you a psychiatrist? If the answer is no then stop trying to tell someone what is wrong with them because you have no idea what that person is going through. I stated in a previous post that my moms friend son has mental health issues they have gone undetected mean while his brother thinks he does all the things he does on purpose however I’ve know them for years and I can tell you his behavior is far from normal the things he says and does now he never did before plus he has gone to a doctor and been diagnosed as well yet his brother is still in denial witch doesn’t help the situation at all.

A lot of times family/friends don’t understand what’s going on with us so they tend to put labels on you or tell you nothing is wrong with you. The biggest thing people should do is educate themselves on these type of things and do research before they speak on a person and what is wrong with them. I myself have had people tell me nothing was wrong with me and it leads to me having to explain this whole story to them and also telling them to Educate themselves before speaking you can never know what a person is going through if you are not in that person shoes.

This is one of the many times in my life where I’ve spoken so much about this and I’m glad that I made this blog because it gives me a voice and other people can relate to it as well. I will continue to say this over and over the world needs so much love and if I could hug ever individual in the word I would do it in a heart beat because we all need hugs every now and then. Please please remember we are all humans here we all have feelings and don’t make someone feel like the way they feel is not justified because that’s not your place.

Also if you know anyone out there with a mental illness or someone who exhibits signs say something and try your best to help that person but don’t put someone down and don’t tell someone what they have or don’t have we all know our bodies we all know how we should feel and not feel and don’t let your diagnoses go undetected please seek help with a doctor, therapist even a friend or family member and never give up never because your life is worth it and you are loved and beautiful inside and out and never forget that.

I hope this post helps someone out there, please enjoy your Saturday. I’m done rambling now, I promise.

love

Loving others/judging less and learning to worry about you!

I see a lot of things on social media that absolutely drive me crazy but of course little old quiet me never says anything, social media can be a good thing sometimes and other times not so much but in 2018 it seems to have taken over our lives, even our kids are sucked into this world.

We see things online that bother us all the time, some people choose to ignore it, I’m one of those types and others choose to speak out against it. Someone might post something on twitter that really gets under your skin, someone on Instagram might post a picture that we don’t necessarily like or agree with. Trust me things like this are seen all the time but does it mean we always have to respond and put our two cents in always? We really don’t,we have the power to walk away we don’t have to type back nasty things to someone we don’t know, we don’t even have to like that picture that was posted that we feel isn’t appropriate.

Day in and day out I see the most craziest things happening online, the problem isn’t that person. the problem is us and how we choose to react to what that person is doing. The reality is it’s not our business to worry about what another person is doing. so we may not like it but it’s not our place to step in and say anything, now some people might feel different about this they may feel you should speak up on certain things and I completely agree with that,however saying things to a complete stranger isn’t going to change their behavior so instead we need to change our behavior on how we choose to react to them.

People are always going to do things we don’t agree with, they may say things that make no sense at all to you, you have to allow people to live their lives even when it’s not the way we choose to live ours. The world has so much judgment in it today and it’s honestly sad because you make one wrong move and that’s it people never forget that one mistake that you made, it may of happened two years ago but trust me someone is going to bring it up because they are not over your mistakes. Being a human bean we have to realize no one is perfect and to sit behind a computer screen and attack someone for their differences is crazy to me. (Even in person it’s still not ok) Stop judging people, stop acting like your god because your not and it’s not your place to act as if your better than another person, no one in this world is perfect but we all strive to try to be better daily for ourselves, our kids, our families or friends.

Everyone has a different story to tell you never know what they are going through what may go through that persons mind daily and bullying someone is never ok. It sounds harsh saying it especially out loud but worry about yourself more and your business and you won’t have to worry about what anyone else around you is doing. The world is crazy enough we should all be coming together as one not going against each other and trying to hurt one another.

Love your neighbor because sometimes all we really need is to be loved and to feel love coming from another person, let’s try to judge less and love more is all I’m saying.

❤️