mental health

This truly makes me sad..

I try to always keep a level head, I try to see everyone’s point of view and I try not to do the whole back and fourth arguing with people because it gets us no where. It truly saddens me and breaks my heart to see people with mental illnesses shaming other people who have mental illnesses like what the hell? How dare someone who suffers shame another person dealing with the same thing. You cannot tell someone else’s story when your not in that persons shoes.

People always say to me “oh you look so happy”, “your always so pulled together” or “are you ever sad” the truth is so much goes through my head daily I’m happy some days other days I’m depressed and my anxiety is all over the place but whenever I’m around people they would never know because I’m so good at covering it up and not letting anyone know I’m broken. People have to realize you can be happy or come off happy to others and still not be ok. Last weekend, I was with my boyfriend and I was telling him a story on how I was driving and I had this image of a cliff and I was falling off the cliff and my (child’s father) was on the top and he was holding on to my hand and I was so miserable and wanted to get away from him in my mind, I wanted him to let me fall. The whole time I’m telling my boyfriend this story he was in shock he couldn’t believe that my mind went to that place. Certain things/people can trigger my anxiety so bad and those are the people I cannot be around.

I was on twitter last night and someone who suffered from depression stated that a friend saw them out and said “you don’t look depressed to me” then it started the question in the comments “what does depression, look like?” The answer to that is clear, depression doesn’t have a look to it someone can be so happy and still be miserable at the same time. It’s not nice or kind to try to diagnose someone or tell them what they have or don’t have you may not understand what that person is going through but it doesn’t give you the right to judge them or make them feel even worse about it. Treat others the way you want someone to treat you.

I feel like some people get picked on over and over for things they have done or not done and it’s not ok, you have to realize someone with a mental illness does not have the same mind set as someone who doesn’t so to those who don’t get it at all, I suggest you educate yourself or start off by asking questions before you jump to conclusions or start diagnosing someone. Everyone’s mind is different and everyone thinks differently but it doesn’t make them not human we all bleed the same, we all feel the same pain we’re a lot more alike then different in some ways. I also will say please don’t jump on the bandwagon, I hate when I read a comment that’s negative online and then a bunch of other people will comment negativity and in my mind, I’m like aren’t you the same person who wrote something positive a minute ago like please have a mind of your own is all I’m saying even if it means standing alone. “If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything” great quote by Alexander Hamilton and it speaks volumes especially for the society we live in today.

I speak on mental illness so much now since starting this blog, because I’m realizing how important it is and that everyone needs a voice to be heard, it was always important to me but I never really had a platform to speak about it on and now with my blogging, I can use my voice and stand for what I believe in. My biggest thing is more people should be educated on it so when situations arise they know how to handle them or they aren’t mis informed. I see so much bullying when it comes to these type of stigmas and it’s sad because we should be coming together not being against one another. I wanna continue to use my voice and speak on my experiences and hopefully it will help others.

It’s Sunday it’s relaxation day so I won’t keep going on with my rant but I’m sure you get the point so display some love today and relax before work Monday. I’m off to the store with my daughter now ✌️😊

bullying

Bullying IN the workplace!

Hello, I hope everyone is having a lovely Sunday, as promised I will be sharing my experience with bullying in the work place, I think at one point in time we have all dealt with situations like this at work and it’s all you handle them and how you choose to rise above it. I will never condone bullying in any shape or form period weather it’s at work, school or in a public setting it’s never ok.

My story..

I had my daughter in 2017 of March as I’ve stated in previous post, i worked until February before choosing to take maternity leave but before going out things at my Job were a little rocky. The crazy part is I had a baby shower and of course all my friends and family were there so of course naturally i chose to invite my co workers. The shower went amazing everyone had a great time (during my leave someone was hired to fill in for me) she was ok at the time or at least I thought she was but that’s a whole other story.

Going back to work..

So in May I went back to work thinking everything was going to be great come to find out my position had been given away to the other employee and I was told my job would be the same also they had me in an office doing paper work all day, Everything was different now my boss was mean to me so we’re the other two girls at the desk mind you I never did anything to these girls I hadn’t seen them in months due to having my daughter. It was constant torture having them be mean to me day in and day out at the time my only friend was the phlebotomist who worked in the lab she always took up for me and told me it would be ok( we no longer speak due to unfortunate circumstance but I will tell that story in another post) I was crying all the time, telling my mom how I hated my job it was horrible.

Some things, I wish I did different..

So being petty and fed up I will not lie I did run to Facebook and post some things that I should have not about the girls only because I was fed up at the time I’m not condoning my behavior at all I understand it was wrong, however one of my co workers took it upon herself to tell my boss some things that were said and I ended up in her office we talked I apologize she apologized and we left it there but still the drama continued for a while longer until the phlebotomist quit and then the girl who took my position left work and I got my Original job back.

Where I’m at now..

So basically I’m still at my Job and I love the doctor I work for a lot and I get along with all the girls now,we no longer have any drama everything’s been great, I will say this SOME of the drama was coming from the phlebotomist at the time she was stirring the pot ( a lot of he say she say) and I really believed she was my friend at the time, she turned out not to be it turns out her and the girl who was doing my job were nothing but mean girls scheming together and they both did things that were not nice against me witch is why I choose not to deal with them now at all. They were trying to pit me against my manager and other co workers who I had known way longer.( this still does not excuse the fact that my manager and co workers still played a role here too)

Why I won’t tolerate bullying..

I don’t like bullies and I hate People who bully others it’s not ok ever and all though I have forgiven my co workers, I will never forget what was done to me. You should never ever make someone feel bad about who they are, the situation really messed with my anxiety and took a huge toll on me mentally and physically. so I wish this on no one remember if you are being bullied speak up and say something do not allow it and if you see someone getting bullied you should speak up don’t allow it to keep happening because so many people wait till it’s too late and someone ends up hurt or even dead and that’s never ok, respect each other always.

Stand against bullies please and enjoy your Sunday because it’s back to work tomorrow. So get your rest in.

love

Loving others/judging less and learning to worry about you!

I see a lot of things on social media that absolutely drive me crazy but of course little old quiet me never says anything, social media can be a good thing sometimes and other times not so much but in 2018 it seems to have taken over our lives, even our kids are sucked into this world.

We see things online that bother us all the time, some people choose to ignore it, I’m one of those types and others choose to speak out against it. Someone might post something on twitter that really gets under your skin, someone on Instagram might post a picture that we don’t necessarily like or agree with. Trust me things like this are seen all the time but does it mean we always have to respond and put our two cents in always? We really don’t,we have the power to walk away we don’t have to type back nasty things to someone we don’t know, we don’t even have to like that picture that was posted that we feel isn’t appropriate.

Day in and day out I see the most craziest things happening online, the problem isn’t that person. the problem is us and how we choose to react to what that person is doing. The reality is it’s not our business to worry about what another person is doing. so we may not like it but it’s not our place to step in and say anything, now some people might feel different about this they may feel you should speak up on certain things and I completely agree with that,however saying things to a complete stranger isn’t going to change their behavior so instead we need to change our behavior on how we choose to react to them.

People are always going to do things we don’t agree with, they may say things that make no sense at all to you, you have to allow people to live their lives even when it’s not the way we choose to live ours. The world has so much judgment in it today and it’s honestly sad because you make one wrong move and that’s it people never forget that one mistake that you made, it may of happened two years ago but trust me someone is going to bring it up because they are not over your mistakes. Being a human bean we have to realize no one is perfect and to sit behind a computer screen and attack someone for their differences is crazy to me. (Even in person it’s still not ok) Stop judging people, stop acting like your god because your not and it’s not your place to act as if your better than another person, no one in this world is perfect but we all strive to try to be better daily for ourselves, our kids, our families or friends.

Everyone has a different story to tell you never know what they are going through what may go through that persons mind daily and bullying someone is never ok. It sounds harsh saying it especially out loud but worry about yourself more and your business and you won’t have to worry about what anyone else around you is doing. The world is crazy enough we should all be coming together as one not going against each other and trying to hurt one another.

Love your neighbor because sometimes all we really need is to be loved and to feel love coming from another person, let’s try to judge less and love more is all I’m saying.

❤️