self help

It’s been too long. #LIFE UPDATE

career, life, love, mental health, relationships, weight loss/Healthy food choices

I’ve truly missed blogging, I’m looking at my old post, I see my last one was in December. I’ve had so much happen since then and want to share a few things with you.

First for starters, I would like to say, I hope everyone is being safe at this time and well.

It’s been a tough Journey for me so I’ll break things down in order.

Relationships:

In February, I officially ended my two year relationship with my boyfriend, it was tough at first but I’m slowly moving on and looking forward to new beginnings, I believe everyone teaches you a lesson, I wasn’t happy he wasn’t happy and we wanted two different things, I wish him the best but of course it’s time time to move on.

Mental Health:

My anxiety and depression had gotten so bad lately it’s been horrible I’ve had to start seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist for help. I’ve even had suicidal thoughts and had to call the national suicide hotline for help, I have my good days and bad days, I’ve cried a lot and spent most of my time isolated lately. I’m trying to get back to the old me but its hard. I’m in a lot of pain and can’t seem to figure out where this pain is coming from. I’m still in the process of healing and trying to figure it all out, it’s all a process, I’m now on new medications and waiting for it to officially get in my system. Today was a good day no worries no anything just a bunch of working from home and spending time with my daughter. I pray for better days let’s hope it comes soon.

Job:

in December, i officially got a new job working at a counseling office and it’s been amazing, I get to help others like myself with mental health. I started Off working the front desk and now I’m an intake coordinator(I assist with new patients) i love being able to help people just like myself but of course sometimes it can be hard, needless to say I was happy to be out of my last job and being able to move on to a better place has helped me a whole lot. Right now I’m working from home but can’t lie I’m missing my office a lot so I’m kinda ready to head back but of course I want to be safe before doing all that.

Diet:

I officially stopped eating pork and beef, the transition actually wasn’t hard at all I basically cook separate from my family and everyone wins the goal is to be healthier and lose some weight and so far I’ve lost 3 pounds I know not a lot but it something so I’m going to keep going. I’m looking for some new food recipes trying to figure out what to cook that sounds good and looks good of course lol I’m leaving health is wealth so take care of your bodies guys it’s tough but worth it.

Mom life:

My daughter turned 3 in March, she’s getting so big and teaching me so many new things. I love being a mom and watching her grow and learn each day it’s a beautiful fun job, filled with much joy and lost or peace. She’s so spunky and care free and it’s beautiful to watch each day. Kids make life a little more enjoyable and they also slow you down so you take time to breath and enjoy all the beautiful moments.

Final thoughts:

I wrote this draft in May of 2020, Crazy how so much has changed since then, I wanted you guys to see this and read it,I’ll be doing an update soon on everything. It’s been almost a year since, I’ve blogged and I truly missed it. I’m finally back and can’t wait to continue back blogging with you again. I also have good news I’ve started a new blog here on word press called “love talk series”. Go check out my first blog post https://www.lovetalkseries.com I’m looking forward to more post. Thanks for the support and still continuing to comment and like my post. Look out for more post coming soon.

Stress|what helps me?

anxiety

In life we all go through things weather it be in our personal life or professional life,we all deal with things and sometimes, we don’t always know how to handle our problems or even what to do when things in our lives get to be too much. I though it would be great to talk about it and also share some of my tips on how, I deal with stressful situations.

Anxiety..

It’s no secret that anxiety plays a big part in my life and it can definitely make stressful situations worse at times but, I will never shy away from this topic because it’s all about helping others and I want anyone out there who is suffering to know it does get better and you are not alone. My anxiety lately has been pretty good honestly and it’s been great for me and I’m learning still everyday how to deal with stressful situations, although it’s hard sometimes but as alway I’ll never give up ever.

Tips that help stress(what helps me)

Remember everyone handles stress differently so what works for me may not work for you.

Let’s get started..

1.spending time with my daughter-

this is one of the biggest things to help me, my daughter is my world and I love coming home to spend time with her and play in her room or eating ice cream this is definitely a good stress reliever, she always takes my mind off anything going on around me everyday and she makes me feel better when she gives me kisses and hugs,she will take her little hand and pat me on the back it’s cute 🙂

2. Going out of town-

As you know my boyfriend lives two hours away, so I don’t get to see him as often as we both would like but whenever,I do go out of town to see him it helps me a lot because getting away from my home town is much needed sometimes, like when I had my recent situation with my child’s father unfortunately, it helped me a lot going to see my boyfriend and talking about it with him while he held me and listen to me vent for hours, he definitely loves me he has too, i talk his head off every chance I get. It’s funny because his very private and quiet and laid back and I’m the complete opposite but he evens me out( sorry for going off topic) you get the point.

3.watching my favorite show-

I love tv, I’m always glued to the television after a long day of work, usually watching cartoons with my daughter or watching something that I like, when I get off at 5 I always tune in to judge Mathis, I love court shows and I love seeing how the cases turn out, theirs also this new show on fox called “Rel” I watch and it’s really good and funny also,I like that new show on CBS called “neighbors” don’t quote me on it because the title is probably wrong but it has Cedric the entertainer in it, it’s very funny and of course I like a few reality tv shows or I’ll watch something on YouTube, Netflix or Hulu.

4.Reading a book/writing novels-

I love love to read like my name should be attached to Barnes and noble because I’m always there reading and I love the way the coffee smell hits me soon as the door opens, I could live in a bookstore literally. I read all kinds of books ranging from romance, to mystery to non fiction or fiction really whatever catches my eye. I also love to write novels ,so I have a bunch of stories I’ve written on my lap top and I have only let one person read them. it’s crazy but I’m funny about who reads my work, I don’t wanna jinx my work plus I have to make sure it’s good before anyone else can read it. Reading is always good for the soul it relaxes you and you get to zone out for a while.

5.taking my anxiety meds-

Let’s be clear these are only taken on a day where,I literally cannot handle anything and I have to be able to control myself or my thoughts so, I grab my pills and relax usually my medicine stays in my purse because, it’s always good to stay prepared I never wanna be away from home with no medicine, so I always make it a point to keep it on me at all times. yes they relax me and help me sleep, I remember the last time taking them my mom pointed out how calm and relaxed it made me, also she said I’m nicer so what does that tell you? But at the same token, I try not to take them everyday because I wanna try to see how my body will react without them but of course most of the time something will happen and then it’s all down hill from there but, yes the goal my doctor always tells me is to have me anxiety free but it’s been years of me dealing with it, so not really sure anything will change but I’m going to stay positive because you never know what can happen.

6. Not letting all the stress over power me-

It’s nothing much we can do when super stressed because we tell ourselves not to think about it but then then we still do it anyway, so the best/last tip I can give you is to let go and let god because it’s not much else you can do, but eventually things will get better in your life, so try not to let it effect you to the point of being depressed or not living your life because no matter what happens in life the world will always keep moving no matter what we have going on,so the best thing you can do is stay positive and count your blessings because it could be worse ,so to anyone out there dealing with stress it will get better I’m speaking it into existence for you, try meditating, yoga, going out with friends, prayer, or whatever works to distract you. You can do it guys I’m rooting for you!

Don’t let stress have you, beat stress up with a smile and positive energy.

Dealing with emotions/Panic and anxiety.

anxiety

Guys I’m doing 100% better, needed to vent, everything is good now. I even spoke with my mom and she helped me feel better, there’s no ill feelings towards my co workers either. I had a bad anxiety moment ( still not sure what triggered it) but I feel a lot better(this was written hours ago) just now deciding to post it.

Today has started off so weird for me, I had a great morning everything appeared to be going right, then all of a sudden my co worker says something to me not in a mean way but I kind of took it that way. I went back into my office and started crying and I’m still unsure as to why it made me so upset or mad but Sometimes my job as much as I love it can cause me a lot of stress, it also feels like most times I’m being pulled in so many different directions and being told so many different things that it can be overwhelming.

I wake up everyday I’m always in a good mood, today was suppose to be a good day and it still can be,however now my body feels weird my chest is hurting me and I feel like I wanna be alone and away from everyone. My anxiety usually makes me feel like this at a times, I try my best not to let my anxiety or my emotions get the best of me but sometimes it happens because I’m human. I never like when little things happen to me and it sets me back from being in control of everything going on and as I sit here in my office I’m still wondering what could of triggered my reaction or caused me to get so upset.

I don’t wanna alarm my co workers and I don’t wanna confront anybody because even I’m not sure why this has happened maybe i got a little overwhelmed or maybe something is bothering me that’s now starting to come out, do you ever get so emotional or worked up and then forget what happens or why it even happened? I know I cannot be the only one. I hate feeling sad inside or feeling like no one understands what’s going on through my mind but of course we all know no one can read minds. My anxiety has now been triggered and I’ll have to deal with the after math.

So I’ll go ahead and be honest I feel “crazy” as in what the hell is going on with me and is this normal. I feel the need to grab my anxiety meds to help me but at the same time I’ve done so good without them, so of course I can’t back track. I wanna call my mom because she normally knows what to say or how to talk me down ,maybe even call my boyfriend but I know they are both at work and busy, maybe I’m over reacting and need to relax, take a deep breath and it will all go back to normal.

I know this post has a lot of me rambling on thanks for reading and listening, yes these are my thoughts at the current moment, I’m glad I got to vent and write them down, by the way writing this I am not mad at anyone (just wanted to express my current feelings) and if anyone out there is dealing with anxiety or any mental illness know that you are not alone and that you are loved and it’s going to get better.

Also I’m debating in my mind on posting this or deleting this so this may not get seen until Friday guys sorry.

I’ll figure it out thanks for reading and going on this crazy journey with me, gotta get back to work now ✌️

5 ways to get over a break up/heartbreak.

relationships

Ok, so I blog a lot about love because let’s face it I’m a big fan of love and happiness so we all have had our heart broken at some point or another and it hurts. I know a lot of times we don’t know how to deal with it or even what to say when someone we know is going through a bad break up so I’m here today to share my thoughts and my opinions on what has helped me get through some tough breaks up.

Also…

No I’m not going through a

Break up!! Just wanted to put

That out there.

Let’s get started….

1. Don’t blame yourself-

I know a lot of times after a bad break up we tend to blame ourselves thinking “what did I do?” ” how can we fix what has happened” or “maybe I shouldn’t of said or done that” the reality is you can’t change everything that’s happened sometimes two people grow apart and realize it’s not meant to be (loving someone does not mean they are meant to be in your life) it’s not your fault take that blame off of you everything in life happens for a reason.

2. Spend time with family/friends-

In most cases when we get in a new relationship we get so wrapped up into that person that we forget our friends and family even exist every conversation is “Jason this Jason that” (an example) and it drives the people around us crazy sometimes.The best thing you can do is rekindle those friendships and go out with your girls for a night on the town. you never know what could happen or who you could meet, try going to a family function as well being surrounded by family can always lift your spirits up and if anyone asks about your former lover just simply reply with “I don’t wanna talk about it” or “can we talk about something else.”your not obligated to talk to anyone about your relationship unless you want too, the healing process takes time.

3. focus on finding yourself-

The biggest thing you can do is focus on YOU your newly single so this is the best time to get to know you again, do some things alone like go shopping or go get your nails done. Remember all those tv shows or movies your partner hated well lounge around and watch them, go outside and take a long walk, it will relive loads of stress and make you feel a whole lot better. There’s even support groups you can join(only if needed) try taking a trip out of town maybe but remember this is your time to figure you out and get to know yourself better. (don’t and I repeat don’t start talking to other people too quick because your not giving yourself any time to grieve or move on from your ex you cannot let someone else in to your space until your truly ready to close the last chapter and when your actually in the right state of mind to make good decisions.

4. Delete the pictures/phone numbers-

I know this is the hardest guys because pictures hold so many wonderful memories but they have to go you can’t hold on to something that is no longer with you. It’s not healthy to wake up and look at your photo gallery only to see pictures of your ex popping up. The moment when I’m done in a relationship the pictures immediately go because it no longer serves me a purpose to have that person in my phone. I know deleting numbers is also a tough one but sometimes it has to be done or they have to be blocked depending on how bad the break up was some people have a mature break up others don’t so sometimes you have to delete that number to have some peace of mind or maybe you change your number to start fresh again it’s all up to you and how you feel.

4. Live with no regrets-

So it didn’t work out it’s not the end of the world you will have other girlfriends/boyfriends in your lifetime so don’t look at it as a bad thing, I’m sure you have had some great times with that person and Made some wonderful memories, also think about positivity in the situation and have no regrets because at one point in time that person was exactly what you wanted and who made you happen even if things didn’t work out.

Try to find the positive in any situation because unfortunately break ups do happen and heartbreak comes along with it, you have to stay strong and know that you are loved and you are worth meeting the right person some day, don’t give up on love because your soulmate is somewhere out there waiting on you.

Also remember it’s ok to be single, never feel bad because you don’t have a boyfriend/girlfriend your time is coming and your main focus should always be YOU (self love is the best kind of love) always remember that.

❤️💜💙