weight loss/Healthy food choices

Weight loss update..

I honestly feel embarrassed even writing about this 🤦‍♀️ it’s crazy to think that things were going so good, my weight was in a good place and I was happy. I think my depression has played a major part in where I am now unfortunately. Food has won and my self control has lost 😐

Where I’m at..

This week has been a world win and I’ve been eating bad unfortunately but I have decided to go back on the meal plan my nutritionist has given me and I’m excited to move forward starting Monday also with the help of my mom who is going to be dieting again with me. Honestly she always does better then me she’s more dedicated, food and I have always had a rocky relationships their are times when I’m eating good and other times where food is really not my best friend. I do always accept responsibility for any mistakes I make or bad decisions that may occur in my life. I’m trying my best to get out of the space I’m in right now and trying my best to slip out of the depression and get back on track.

What’s next for me..

The only thing at this point that can be done is me striving to do my best again. I’m going to regain my strength and regain my power back and get my life back the way it was before everything went left. I’m actually proud of myself though since I’ve gone grocery shopping today and rid my refrigerator of all the bad foods so I’m excited about going back to healthy eating also I’m going to be back in the gym next week and I’m thinking about getting a trainer for the extra help. I downloaded a new app on my phone to help with my eating as well ,I’ll put the link at the end of the post but so far I like it a lot it actually will generate and make your meal plans for you also it’s great because you can blog post your journey on it and post pictures and talk to people from all over the world who are trying to lose weight so that’s great motivation.

Conclusion..

I’m definitely going to do more post to keep you updated on my weight loss journey and to kind of document it for you guys. I’m going to share the foods I’m eating and the exercises that I’m doing and different recipes. This is a little off topic but after having my daughter I was 145 pounds and I remember losing weight and getting down to 133 or so and I was happy and then the weight came back after a while and I lost it again and of course now it’s back again to 139 and I was 133/134 last. I know to most reading this your going to be like stop bitching that’s nothing just a couple of pounds but to me it’s a lot I’m really insecure about my body a lot and In the past it has lead me to starving myself and not treating my body good. It’s really about a lifestyle change and being healthy for not only me but for my daughter.

More talk..

Again I also wanna apologize for my bad blog posting lately funny thing is I wrote part of this post four days ago and then saved it as a draft and never got back to writing more on it until today. I’m trying guys I’m trying again my mind is still all over the place and I’m trying my best to come back to being myself but I will try my hardest to blog more.

Enjoy your Saturday and relax because Monday is coming soon. Thanks for reading my crazy rant. It’s time to get back to relaxing.

Lifestyle

Women to women|Coming together.

It’s crazy because, I originally was going to do another post but instead I ended up picking this topic because day in and day out, I see so much bickering between women and it’s sad that as women we tend to pit ourselves against each other or down one another. we’re our own worse enemy and can’t even see it, it’s bad enough some(keyword some because not all men do this) men put us down but then we turn around and do it to ourselves and I can’t seem to understand why? I’ve watched another women go to another women’s page just to comment on a picture they didn’t like or to tear that women down for no reason at all, how do you sleep at night? And then the main ones that get me are the ones that put “child of god” in their bio like please that has to be a sick joke you cannot call yourself such a thing mean while your putting someone else down or name calling someone and I agree everyone has the right to their own opinion but there’s a difference, when it’s coming from a good place or when your just being plain nasty for no reason.

My experience..

I’ve never really fit into the in crowd, I’ve never been miss popularity but at the same time I’ve never felt the need to be anyone but me, I was bullied all through school by the mean girls as we call them. I never understood why someone can be so cruel, I was name called and told I was ugly, fat, and stupid by girls who didn’t even know me and their words started to eat at me as I got older and I started to believe it to a certain extent witch lead me down a path of destruction, starving myself, going days with no food and exercising constantly, hating the person behind the mirror. It’s weird to say those same girls now are fake friendly whenever they see me out but of course I never forget, my cousins ex also use to bully me in school and then turned around and tried to be nice to me because she was dating him. I can forgive a lot of things but trust me this girl will never forget.

The things I see.

I’m randomly on instagram today and as usual I’m scrolling down my time line and also looking at the search section where they show a bunch of pictures of celebrities, it saddens me to see so many women downing other women or saying ignorant things to be mean for no reason,like what is your motive? I honestly feel a lot of it is jealousy and the other part is women not liking who they are, self esteem is definitely a killer and will have you hating who you are, I’ve been there before. I will say this it’s no ones problem because you don’t like who you are and you should not treat others like shit because you don’t love yourself, it’s up to you to fix the broken pieces in you and get yourself together but don’t down another women or another person in general because you don’t like the shoes your in. I have to give tough love in this post for so many reasons because this is seen so much and it shouldn’t be.

Things to work on..

If you or anyone you know is that girl, I will say this it’s not too late to change who you are, and the next time you get online or even in person and see something you don’t like, keep scrolling it’s not hard, I do it all the time. I think as women we should always back each other the world we live in is already cold enough so why down one another. We have this new “me too” movement in place witch is suppose to be women empowerment yet still in some ways we have a long way to go as far as coming together but that’s a whole other topic. I truly encourage you to love on one another and treat each other the way you want to be treated stop putting others down and love yourself and the next time you think about saying something mean turn it into a positive.

Conclusion..

We have to stick together and show love each time we get a chance, so women even men let’s rise above the drama and be better than ever. I challenge you to go out today/tomorrow and say something nice to someone you love.

relationships

Bad relationships/why do we stay?

The reason I’m making this blog post is because we all have that one friend or family member who has been with the wrong guy or girl and we continue to tell them over and over it’s not going to work but to them we sound crazy and should mind our business, well today at work we had girl talk and of course the topic of discussion was relationships and how we feel about certain things that men/women tend to do and why do we stay sometimes even when we’re miserable.

Let’s get started..

So one of my co workers is currently dealing with a relationship dilemma,she’s not sure weather she should leave her relationship or stay. she’s not happy but doesn’t want to leave him “when his down” as she says and honestly I think a lot of women feel this way, I know I’ve stayed in many bad relationships because, I thought I loved that person and I thought things Would work out but it didn’t and it left me stuck and full of emotions and trying to figure out how to deal with them. So then poses the question is love really enough? Honestly in my opinion it’s not you can love the hell out of someone but love is not going to keep me there especially when I’m miserable and unhappy. I’ve learned that I have to love me first and do what makes me happy.

Let’s dig deeper..

In all my past relationships I wasn’t happy with myself and it caused me to cling to the wrong type of men,in my mind they loved me but it wasn’t love at all it was me being stuck in bad situations and thinking it was enough when clearly it wasn’t, I was always finding myself pondering back and fourth trying to please others over myself and no matter how many times i got hurt it never stopped me from giving love a try again even though in my mind it was clear what the outcome would be, my heart indured so much pain and it cause me more heartache then anything and it honestly wasn’t worth it in the end. I will also add this if you feel like you have to cheat on your partner because they are not giving you attention or you are that miserable being with them, my biggest suggestion is move on and leave them don’t hurt that person because you are hurting that’s make no sense to me at all and I seen it happen to many time with friends or people I know so leave the situation don’t make things even worse.

When do we start to love us enough..

It really breaks my heart to see women even men with the wrong person and watch them waste their time so many times over and over and at some point we have to have that self love for ourselves because when we don’t it turns in to us picking the wrong person to be with, I’m always challenging people around me to stay single and focus on themselves until they really know what they want and can find self love first before beginning to love another person. In the end it causes a lot of unresolved problems and causes us to resent that person even though we had a choice to leave or stay. I watch my co worker talk daily about her relationship and anything you say to her she gets mad because she has talked herself into being happy when in reality she’s not she vents and complains to us daily and we give her advice but she never takes it and in no way shape or form am I degrading her or trying to make her look like a bad person because trust me I’ve been that girl before in relationships I more so wanted to use her story as an example to help others because we have all been there at one point in time.

Conclusion..

At the end of the day I hate to say it but we only have ourselves to blame when we choose to be in bad relationships with the wrong person because the door is always open but we chose to leave it closed. I hope that this helps someone out there know that you are loved and the right person is coming to you so be patient and keep being you also don’t jump too quick into relationships without knowing more about the person and always always make sure to love you first. I’m rooting for each and every one of you and I know things will be ok. Stay positive my sweeties.

I have to get back to work now we’re starting to get busy ✌️

positivity

Stop promoting negativity/be positive.

So I’m at work minding my business and had some down time today In between patients so I’m scrolling through Twitter and Instagram like I do everyday and I see a post by a women saying “why are men so stupid?” My first though was wait a minute did she really write that then I decided to scroll through some comments of course most men were not happy about this post one man even proceeds to say ” why don’t women shut the F*** up when you ask them too” (he also threatens a women who leaves a comment under what he said) I really was appalled at this for one I don’t feel she should have made the comment because it goes back to the old saying every parent teaches their child “if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” Maybe she was having a bad day either way things could have been said differently and I get it’s that persons page and they can post whatever they like but at the same time be prepared for the repercussions of your actions.

I don’t agree with a man disrespecting a women at all period, it says a lot about how you were raised and how you will treat any women you date. Their are so many domestic violence situations out there so for anyone to take a comment that far it’s ridiculous also we need to learn we may not always agree with what someone says but we don’t always have to react either,learn to walk away. I read through so many comments and most of them were negative, women going back in fourth men trashing women it was crazy. It’s so disappointing to see people act crazy online it’s like don’t fall for the bait don’t do it and conduct yourselves a little better some things don’t need a reaction as I’ve said already.

Another story..

Something also really triggered me this morning as well when I’m on Twitter and I see a girl post a picture of herself she’s clearly been beaten by her boyfriend her face has cuts and bruises and theirs blood so she goes on to say “my man may beat me sometimes but at least I have a man” I’m at a loss for words at this point because it’s sad and she’s making a joke about this when so many women are being abused daily and can’t even get help or have no way out, it’s like how dare she make a mockery out of something so serious, the sad part is this young girl really needs help to even think that being abused is ok ever theirs a Hugh problem there. Being abused is nothing to play with at all people have lost their lives to these not only that but it tells me she doesn’t love herself at all to even think this way, I really hope this girl gets help and I hope she realizes what she deserves and I pray she’s being watched over as we speak.

If you or someone you know is being abused please seek help check out my previous post about my abusive relationship and please click on the website I left it may save your life today…

Always remember do not ever allow someone to bait you to the point where your doing something or saying something you shouldn’t be doing. Spend time around people who bring positivity in your life and stay away from any negativity, try to be careful with your words and don’t allow one bad moment to break you. If you see anything negative online please ignore it you don’t have to give the other person any satisfaction and you don’t have to let them win.

I challenge you to spend some time away from social media and enjoy your day don’t allow someone to take you out of your character because you know who you are and the next time you get ready to post something negative think to yourself “do I really need to post this, is this really that important” post something positive.

I’m sorry for the rant guys all this really caught me off guard and I wanted to speak my peace. I hope you all enjoy your Thursday I’m going to enjoy my mini break before going back in to work. Remember love somebody today and give them lots of hugs 🤗

love quotes, quotes

Top 5 favorite love quotes

So again everyone should know by now I’m a sucker for love always so, I thought I would share my top five favorite love quotes with you guys, I hope you like and enjoy.

Let’s get started..

1.

This is a good quote because it teaches you to be strong in your relationship, basically your going to go through things in your relationship but in the end, it will make your relationship 100 % stronger. Let’s face it no relationships is perfect!

2.

This is so true, it’s the exact same reason I fell for my boyfriend, remember to always enjoy your relationship and don’t let the little things break you. Always laugh and talk and remember why you fell in love and most importantly appreciate one another and love hard.

3.

This quote is true in so many ways, sometimes we tend to settle for the wrong person because In our mind we think they are the one we’re so blinded by love that we can’t even see that, that person isn’t the one. so in our minds this is what we think we deserve, when really we deserve so much better, please don’t settle guys someone out there is willing to give you the love you really do deserve.( someone I know is in a smiler situation and it’s sad watching her being miserable and unhappy with the wrong person) hopefully she realizes what she truly deserves soon.

4.

I love this bob Marley quote it’s true in so many ways, unfortunately you will get hurt sometimes by people you love. The amazing thing is you have right to choose who you want in your life and who you don’t want around you. Don’t allow someone to keep hurting you over and over again because that means they don’t care enough to consider your feelings love is never easy but it’s worth it with the right person alway remember that.

5.

This goes back to self love again, you must love and respect yourself first before you expect someone else too. Remember it’s ok to be single focus on yourself sometimes make sure your ok before you try to be with anybody else. Self love is the best love and as this quote says you set the tone for the relationships you wanna have in your life weather it be from family, friends or boyfriend/girlfriends.

Conclusion..

So these are some of my favorite love quotes of course there is more so their will definitely be a part two coming soon. Remember to love and be loved is the best feeling also remember to love yourself first and always choose happiness. Goodnight I’m off to bed now enjoy the ones you love and spread lots of joy. ❤️

relationships

When someone from the past tries to come back into your life 😮 (let those ex’s go)

This topic actually came to mind when I was at a red light in my car yesterday and now I’m finally getting around to talking about it. I know every girl and even some guys have had an ex come back into your life or at least TRY to come back in your life, it’s like with no warning all of a sudden this person has found you on Facebook or Instagram or some how gotten your phone number from a friend and you receive and Anonymous text message out of no where, You have basically moved on with your life but of course they haven’t.

The guilt trip..

So many know how ex’s will pop up all of a sudden acting brand new and telling you all the problems they now have in their life and how they need a friend and your suppose to feel sorry for them, (I think not) I won’t even lie I’ve had people from my past try to pop up and it annoys me honestly, I have cut you out my life for a reason this means don’t contact me and I won’t contact you. I once had an ex who was going through hard times and he called me cause he didn’t have any food in his house so me being nice I gave him money well that was my mistake because he kept asking and I refused to help anymore because at that point I already knew he was taking advantage of my kindness. We should never feel guilty behind what someone else has done and trust me I’ve learned the hard way on that one (also this was all before I had my daughter and got into my current relationship) I would never ever do that now.

Why do they come back…

I think most times they feel bad for things they did and they feel that they need to redeem themselves, I’m one of those People who chooses to forgive but I will never forget. I’ve had ex’s tell me they messed up and they feel bad because I was a good girlfriend, ok all that sounds cute and all but it’s too late and I’ve already moved on, I never see the point in re living the past again. I never really dated a good guy before until my current relationship it’s crazy to think back to all the wrong guys I dated and why I picked them, I was so insecure in myself and who I was and they saw that and took advantage of that. I never want my daughter to feel pain from a man as I have. So ladies even men do not let your ex come back forgive them but find the strength to move on to something even better.

Conclusion..

When your relationship is done and over with move on, change your number(if you want too), Block them on social media or if you choose to keep that person in your life just strictly keep it as friends that’s it nothing more but I will say In my opinion, I don’t want any of my ex’s back and I don’t want them contacting me and trust me it has happened and I always shut it down quickly because I’m not for all the drama. You have to remember it’s a reason that you and that person didn’t work out so don’t fall prey to being a victim to them again.

Enjoy your Friday guys and stay away from those ex’s (get you something better) ✌️

self-love

It’s ok to be different :)

Growing up I never really fit in with the cool kids I was always marching to the beat of my own drum, I went to high school with all kinds of kids from jocks, the cheerleaders, the I’m too good to hang with you group(popular group if you wanna say), the nerds and the emo kids. I would always get picked on for being different and I never felt good enough. The girls I had grown up with since elementary school started to become my friends again in high school they were all well known and as long as I hung with them, well I became well known too.

For years I stuck with them until one day I decided I needed to break away, I needed to find out who I was and being in that group didn’t fit me anymore so my uncles wife ,well his stepdaughter(her daughter) moved in with them and she became my new friend she didn’t fit into the standards of being popular she never cared what anyone though of her either, she listened to all the linkin Park songs and three days grace and even more and she took me into a world that I never knew. We did everything together practically she even introduced me to all her friends and hanging with them became the norm for me.

One day she decided school wasn’t for her anymore so she dropped out and that left me alone and trying to figure out who I was, I couldn’t go back to old group of friends because well it wasn’t the same anymore and in some way they had moved on from me. I eventually met other people of course but still I knew I was nothing like most people, all my life I had been told I was weird or different and it use to bother me until one day I decided not to care anymore because well it was true and so what, I didn’t wanna fit into these molds anymore, I wanted to be me.

I’m now older and I still am that weird/different girl and I love everything about it. I listen to all kinds of music whether it be rock, country, pop or r&b it dosent matter I dress how I feel and converse are my favorite shoes. I wear my hair the way I want too and I dont care about fitting in with anyone because I love me and the people who don’t well that’s their personal problem. I will always be true to me and that’s all that matters. You don’t have to be like anyone except yourself remember that.

always always love you and don’t change yourself for anybody and I mean anybody you don’t have to fit in or be popular or do anything you don’t want too. I consider myself a loner because honestly i spend most of my days alone and I like it that way, yes I have a group of amazing friends in my life who except me for me (I grew up with them) they take me as I am and never try to change me, we’re all moms now with families and it’s pretty cool how life has changed us and made us who we are.

I say all this to say love being you, love being different and never change guys ever because your smile can change the world and you don’t have to be anybody but YOU.

self-love

Remember to always love YOU and put YOU first.

I wasn’t ease dropping on the conversation, however I was in a public bathroom and she basically put her business out there for the world sadly and now I’m sharing my thoughts and telling my own story in some way…

So, tonight I went out to eat with my family for my moms birthday weekend, it was a great dinner we had a great night but of course as were leaving we stop by the bathroom and I take my daughter in to change her that’s when I over heard a waitress on the phone with her boyfriend, everyone in the bathroom can hear her conversation she’s pleading and bagging her boyfriend not to leave her and to come get her from work and from her voice I can tell his telling her no witch isn’t what she wanted to hear, so she continues talking to him telling him she won’t do something again and a bunch of other things (it’s raining outside) so she was also asking him to bring her the car he was clearly saying no, finally her boss comes to the bathroom and tells her she needs to come back and finish waiting on tables then she proceeds to tell her boyfriend “I’m going to lose my job” before walking out finally.

This is why I always say self love is so so important even when your in a relationship because in order to love someone you must love yourself first always and I remember in past relationships not having that for myself so I put up with way more then I should have. It was very clear to me that this girl didn’t seem to have to much love for herself as she’s on the phone bagging her boyfriend and crying on the phone in a bathroom stall it Made me think how many women even some men deal with issues and put up with things like this because sometimes they feel that no one else will love them or that’s the only person they can get or they settle because of fear of moving on.

This post isn’t just about that waitress or her story that she honestly should of kept separate from her job but it’s for anyone out there who has ever been in situations like this and who have felt like they weren’t good enough. You have to realize sometimes we get in this situations because people portray to be one way and then once you get to know them better it’s a whole different story. When I was in my abusive relationship,I thought he was great in the beginning until I really got to know him and see that he wasn’t a good person he grew up in single parent home no father present and his mom did the best she could yes in some aspect I think that effected him a lot as he got older.( yes I also know not all people from single parent homes exhibit bad behaviors) truth is growing up I was a Hugh daddy’s girls I did everything with my dad he was the man I most admired but as i grew into a teenager our closeness kind of faded away and I sometimes feel that’s the reason I dated all the wrong guys

Also I’m not blaming everything on my dad part of this was ME too (we have a great relationship now)

I remember not having self love and it caused a lot of heartache for me in the long run. I wanna really say make sure you pick the right partner don’t get into a relationship because your lonely or because you think his a good guy but then he or she turns out not to be at all. Once you get that self love you won’t allow anyone to ever hurt you because you will love yourself enough to never accept anyone not loving you the right way. I know it’s hard because it took me years to love myself and I mean years and sometimes when it comes to my weight I still struggle with the self love part a little only because I’m always thinking I could be smaller but that’s a whole other story however when I met my current boyfriend he really taught me how a women should be treated he never calls me out my name, never disrespects me, we don’t argue and he loves me for me, well take that back we may have disagreements here and there but it dosent involve yelling and cursing each other out. It’s like you agree to disagree. (Kind of like the sky is blue nope it’s green) type of disagreements.

So, never settle, never love anyone before you (accept your children of course) never let someone make you feel like it’s your fault or belittle you and treat you less then what you are worth because somewhere out there someone is out there who is willing to love you for who you are and love you right. Some days i still look in the mirror and realize how far I’ve come from my past and how better I’ve gotten at loving me and the people around me and not settling because I’m worth being treated good.

Never beg someone to be in your life once they leave let them go because that chapter has ended and a new one will began and it will have a great ending..

Learn to love you and learn to take care of you first always and I pray and hope that waitress tonight finds that self love and makes better choices when it comes to dating because I’m sure she deserve the world but can’t see that yet but I’m sure one day she will.

Self love is the best kind of love as I always say ❤️

self-love

Why self -love is so important/learning to love yourself.

So it’s Sunday and I wanna keep up with the theme of love, this topic is so important to me because I didn’t always love myself and I didn’t always like who I was and and it took me a really long time to realize that I was special and that I mattered. I grew up in a household where love was always shown(I’m an only child) my parents they raised me right they taught me right from wrong and I was spoiled of course so it was never a time where I didn’t feel loved or not wanted.

When I got older is when I started to struggle a little, I was being bullied in school kids would say your ugly, your fat, why do you look like that or act like that and I would come home crying, I used to beg my mom to put me in private school she would always say it will get better, it will be ok. I wanted it to be ok, I wanted those kids to leave me alone and stop picking at me but it wasn’t happening. I got to a point where I was skipping school and trying to leave early every day to avoid the kids who would pick on me eventually it started to get a little better but those words they stuck with me for a really long time.

I would stand in the full length mirror at home and wonder why I was so fat, I wanted to be smaller I was tired of feeling unattractive and over weight( I was bigger when I was in middle/high school) some of my family members would even pick at my weight they would tell me I should stop eating or how did I get that big, it use to hurt my feelings and I desperately wanted to be thin, I remember starving myself and not eating for days even going to the store to get diet pills, I was working out every day. I remember that same year I lost a lot of weight and dropped 4 pants sizes I was happy people were complimenting me and saying I looked good but still it wasn’t enough because inside I wasn’t happy with who I was at all.

I got tired of all the criticism, I was tired of trying to be what they wanted me to be. I remember crying out inside because I wanted a way out, the guy I was dating at the time told me I was going to far but in my mind it wasn’t far enough I started cutting myself to not feel the pain at all, no one knew anything I was feeling and I felt trapped and alone, between being bullied and not loving myself I was a mess, I spend more time trying to please the people around me then myself. I had to put an end to all the voices in my head and learn to love myself for me.

Once I started college all that changed, I didn’t feel so trapped or like I had to please anybody around me, I started making new friends and nobody was judging me or trying to change me, it was a good feeling to know for once that I could be myself. I started seeing the brighter side of things and realize that who was, was actually ok and I didn’t need to please anyone but myself. My life was finally the way I wanted/needed it to be with or without the approval of others-around me. The only only opinion I cared about was my own.

Loving yourself is the best thing you can ever do guys no matter what even if you’re in a relationship always remember to love you first, take care of you first and don’t let those outside voices get inside your head, it took me years to finally love myself and honestly some days I still struggle but I take it one day at a time also bullying is never ok and anyone who has dealt with that my heart goes out to you.

Your life is Important and you are loved never forget that don’t let any one ever tell you different. Once you start to love yourself things will get brighter and a lot better and you will see that you are amazing 😉

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