So excited!! Happy Sunday!

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I’m sorry for the two days of no posting, so much has been going on, I was out of town and the biggest thing, I adopted a dog and named him bean. Guys I’m so in love! My co worker/ best amiga (friend) Andrea took me to the SPCA https://richmondspca.org this is their website if you wanna check it out it they do great things for animals like dogs and cats. It’s basically a shelter and they get animals that have been found and take care of them. You can go in and adopt them. You have to fill out paper work and have an interview process and they allow you to spend time with the dog, then you can decide weather you wanna adopt or not. SPCA is state wide and they do great things in the community so if your thinking about adopting a dog or cat it’s a great place.

The dog, that I’ve adopted “bean” is what my daughter named him. The thing that stuck out to me the most is that he suffers from anxiety and when the counselor told me that, it made me think about my situation with my anxiety. I know most people might be thinking why would you get a dog like that, when you have anxiety and the answer is simple, we can help each other and when he has moments of anxiety it’s easy for me to recognize the signs and help him relax or hold him till he feels better. Honestly I’m always thinking only us as humans have problems or deal with hard things but going to the shelter showed me that animals deal with the same things that we do and it goes un noticed because we don’t look at them as being human or having feelings because they are animals, when the reality is they do. It’s definitely something, I’m going to educate myself on to learn even more.

Everything right now is great in my life, except the “Job” situation witch is still a work in progress for me, but I did get a call for an interview Friday so will see what happens,I’m hoping to be in a new job by the end of the year or the beginning so have to stay positive about that. I did have a crazy weekend but that’s another story and I’m the end it all came together and worked out . The high light was adopting my dog and seeing my boyfriend for two days. None the less it’s the little things that really do keep us going in this world. I’m looking forward to whatever is next.

I’m off to go clean my car out and go give the dog a bath before, I take a well needed nap because let’s be honest, I barley slept any this weekend I’m such a worry wart. I did manage to go to church and that was amazing as usual. So enjoy this beautiful Sunday and remember to spread love wherever you are today.

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What makes you happy!

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This is my challenge for you today, figure out what makes you happy and no materialistic things. Think about the positive and what makes you smile and what makes you feel alive and keeps you going everyday.

1. My daughter

2.my career

3.love for god

Those are the three things that make me the happiest in this world. So now I’m challenging you to think of your happiness. Enjoy your Sunday ❤️ think happy thoughts and start to see positive results.

Sunday “my happy place”

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I woke up this morning excited for church but also excited for another day of life. I feel great knowing my anxiety is in check, my depression isn’t nearly as bad and mostly everything in my life for the most part feels in order.

I still weep for the people out there who still don’t know where their next meal is coming from or don’t know where their life is heading next. I’m always watching the homeless people that stand on the side of the road asking for food or money. I wonder about their back stories and what keeps them going everyday. My co worker always stops to give them money she has a good heart and she would help the whole world if she could.

I wish, I could save everyone who wanted to give up on life and let them know it’s going to be ok, the countless stories of suicide all over the news makes me sad, I wonder what led them to that place and why no one intervened to help. The deeper that, I get into church and my religion, I’m starting to understand more about people and also the changes that,I need to make within myself. I get it no ones life is perfect not even mine some days are better than others. I try to stay above it all and not think too much on the negative.

Life can put you in dark spaces sometimes, believe me I’ve been there countless times, where I wonder why I’m still here and when it would get better, going from the girl who cried everyday to now being able to deal with my problems better is an accomplishment for me. I continue pushing no matter how hard life gets. It’s never easy but it’s always worth it, I will always believe that it’s ways to get around my anxiety. sometimes I’m often wondering will I be on medicine for the rest of my life or will the day come where it’s no longer needed, honestly it’s become safe for me to be on medication then without it. Some function better when they are medicine free me on the other hand it helps a lot.

I hope everyone will have a wonderful Sunday keep praying for better days and keep a positive mind, God will guide you and get you through the next steps in your life. It may seem hard today but believe me it does get better. So to anyone struggling, know I’m here for you and please don’t give up.

Staying strong 💪 😊

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Once again, I apologize for my disappearing act, I had a lot going on at the time dealing with my depression/anxiety, so it lead me to walk away from some things and start fresh, I’m in a better space again and a lot happier. I’ve been taking my medication regularly and trying my best not to allow anything to come between me and my sanity.

I’m in the midst of trying to lose weight due to health reasons and trying to be healthy and I’ve joined weight watchers so, I’m proud to say I’ve had a few bad moments with dieting but I’m getting back on track as we speak and excited to be back on the meal plan my nutritionist gave me in the beginning. I’m ready to start fresh and begin my road to happiness again.

I’m excited also to be cutting my hair this week, I’ve always wanted to do something drastic and for once it’s happening, I’m choosing to cut it short and go natural, no more relaxer for my hair it’s all natural curls for now on. You ever have moments where starting fresh is the best thing for you or in general you wanna do something different well that’s how I’ve been feeling lately and I’m super excited about it.

My journey isn’t always easy but it’s so worth it, I’m not perfect all the time and things don’t always go right but I’m still here and still standing. I’m going to continue to fight against my mental illness and continue to push through even when it’s hard, my mental illness is not me and i am not my mental illness it doesn’t always have to define me. I will continue to advocate for those who struggle and continue to take care of myself daily.

Enjoy your Sunday guys and don’t forget to check out my podcast on anchor.fm/CherelleH new episodes everyday so look out for it.

Where I’ve been/checking in.

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First, I want to apologize for going M.I.A on everyone, so much has been going on and honestly not having my medication has lead to me feeling depressed and not like myself. I’ve been kinda of distance with everything lately, including with my podcast and it’s all been a process to be honest.

I’ve been working and being a mom and struggling with other things as well that have lead me down a path of trying to figure out what to do next. The good news is my doctor finally approved my medication to be refilled this morning, my pharmacy fought hard for them to do it and for that I’m grateful to finally be able to pick up my medicine today. I have other things that have been plaguing my mind lately as well and you all know it’s no secret that I’ve been trying to lose weight and I’ve been on and off with diets and failing miserably to stick to anything at all.

I’m starting to feel so insecure about my weight, it’s to the point that looking in the mirror has become an issue for me, I’ve gotten to the point where avoiding the mirror is the only thing that works for me. I know I’m not perfect and some days I eat a lot of sweets and other days I don’t. I feel like sometimes I’m binge eating and I don’t know why or eating when I’m bored and it’s bothering me and I’m feeling gross to be honest, I was 136 now I’m 143 and to some that’s not a lot but to me it is and I hate my body right now and all though my boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful everyday some how I don’t believe it anymore. It’s funny last night we were on the phone and he said “baby your making yourself crazy for no reason” I get it but still it’s hard to tell the girl who always struggled with wanting to be super thin and who use to starve herself to lose weight any different. I remember being 122 pounds and being happy because back then weight didn’t bother me as much but tell that to me now.

This girl was so confident and happy but now I’m wondering what happen to her and why now am I stuck 🤷‍♀️

This is me now and to some, I may appear fine but to me I’m so insecure and wondering when this will end to be honest.

I’m also in a space where I’m about to cut my hair short again, my hair grew back out but now it’s starting to break off some in the back and I’m kind of over my hair, so I booked a hair appointment with my hair stylist for the following week to get it cut and Styled and start fresh for a while. I know in due time, things will be back to normal and I’ll be back to my old self, it’s all a process but getting back on my meds is the first start and then Monday I’m starting back on my diet of eating clean and I’m sticking to a goal of getting down to 129, that’s the goal my nutritionist set for me so I’m going get back too it and stay clean this time.

I’m going to be ok and I know everyone dealing with mental illness can get through this and be strong too. It’s going to be tough sometimes but we can see it through. I’m about to finish watching “Halloween” and be scared for a while under my heated blanket. Enjoy your Sunday and be safe and happy 😊

Sunday Life thoughts :)

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It’s been a nice weekend so far, I’ve spent most of my weekend relaxing in bed and watching tv and as we speak I’m laying down in bed under my heated blanket. The weather continues to change, one day it’s cold the next it’s hot and honestly I stopped keeping up. My daughter has a really bad cold right now and I’m in full mom mode and trying to get her better and also trying not to get sick so, theraflu here Cherelle comes.

Yesterday was so rainy and nasty outside and guess who ended up out in the rain 🌧 🙋‍♀️ I had to go to Walmart to get some things for my daughter and pick up food for the house. I’m in the store walking around and a worker was stocking food on the aisle, so it was blocked off and people couldn’t get by, well I’m trying to grab some milk, when a women comes behind me with an attitude saying “excuse me” In a rude tone so at that point, I’m a little annoyed and taken back. I move over and roll my eyes and allow her to go by me, then go back to grabbing my milk. I was mad at that point and honestly wanted to slap her not going to lie and calling my mom was the only thing that would keep me calm, so I pull my phone out and dialed her number and explain what happened, she was upset and freaked out because, she knows how I can be at times, especially when I’m not on my medication.

It’s been a struggle lately without my medication and it’s causing me to be angry and on edge and my next doctors appointment isn’t until March 11th, because his booked again and missing my last appointment didn’t help, all though it was out of my hands and now I’m sitting here waiting. I’m one of those people that needs medication in order to function, because without it sometimes, I’m a complete mess to be honest and for a few days honestly, I was thinking “I’m ok” again but now I’m seeing that I’m not. At this point their is not much for me to do, but wait or maybe see, will my doctor call in a prescription for me, but I’m thinking that’s a no because again, his money hungry and likes to see me before doing anything. I’m hoping to get through these next two weeks, but honestly it’s scary, because feeling the way I been feeling isn’t a good feeling, but gotta stay strong and do the best I can.

I’m not a violent person at all or a mean person and I’m always nice to others, but cannot stand being disrespected especially when, I’ve done nothing wrong and it’s like that quiet girl in the corner has faded and found her voice and became more vocal, because in high school being bullied and not having a voice everyday was horrible and now being older I’m not standing for it. I haven’t slept all weekend and my body is now paying for it. I keep waking up like I’m going to work and then watching tv all morning. I woke up at 8 this morning and paid bills and then watched old episodes of Dr. Phil until my daughter woke up. That’s how my days have been here lately, so I’m really thinking not having my Medicine is starting to mess with me a whole lot.

I’m up bored now, as my daughter takes her nap and I’m sitting in my room looking at the walls, wondering what’s next and seeing how pretty outside it is today, I’m grateful for this beautiful Sunday, but I’m also tired and probably should take a nap while my daughter is sleeping. I’m hoping tomorrow, will be a great work day for me and a great day for you all as well, I’m going to attempt to take a nap or try to catch a show on Hulu or Netflix doing this down time. Enjoy your Sunday! 😊

-Cherelle ❤️

Happy Sunday :)

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Hello lovelies it’s a beautiful Sunday morning and of course, I’m wide awake! I wanted to do a cute video last night for everyone to see because I’m going to be doing videos twice a week now. I love blogging but I also want you guys to be able to match a face to the blog your reading all the time. (Also sorry for the roughness) lol I was tired and Just getting back home. I thank you all for the support that is shown and we will continue to keep pushing until the stigma of mental illness has been broken.

I haven’t been sleeping well the past couple of days either so it’s the main reason I’ve been awake so early and I’m hoping my doctor can Prescribe me something soon, I’m literally tired every day even at work. My anxiety/depression has been a little better this weekend so I’m proud of myself for getting out the house and doing something fun instead of taking to my room all day, I know this is baby steps, however it’s still something and for me it’s a big step.

My podcast is doing so well, I have two sponsors now and I couldn’t be more excited also I’m getting more plays and people seem to be really liking my episodes so I’m excited about that. I’m also thinking about starting a support group for mental illness really soon and I’m excited about that as well. I’m looking forward to all the good things that continue to happen in my life.

I will keep you all posted on whatever is next and as always enjoy this beautiful Sunday and don’t forget to smile as I tell all my patients at work daily 😊