weight loss

My favorite sugar free food dishes!

weight loss/Healthy food choices

These dishes became a house hold favorite, when my grandpa got diagnosed with diabetes, we had to learn to change our eating habits and eat better for his health.

Brownies.

This brownie mix is amazing instead of sugar it’s substituted with Splenda and it Taste great you, can get this at any local grocery store and it’s not too pricey either.

Jell-O.

This is also a favorite of mine, it’s less the calories and sugar plus it Taste great so, you get to eat a snack without freaking out over all the sugar intake.

Popcorn.

Popcorn is another favorite snack, Because it has no sugar and you can pretty much eat as much as you want. I also buy the 94% fat free popcorn with only 100 calories. It doesn’t have as much butter and it’s healthier for you. They come in mini bags or big bags I would say go for the Mini bags if you just looking for a simple snack.

Almonds.

My mom will only by this brand of almonds nothing else because it’s less sugar and healthier for you. I never use to like almonds but my mom got me hooked on them now and my nutritionist also had it on my meal plan so it became a household snack.

Gatorade.

This is my all time favorite sugar free drinks most people think it’s nasty it’s not at all, in fact it’s healthier for your body then all that sugar in regular Gatorade. I even have my dad hooked on it, every time I go to the store he asks me to buy more. This is a great substitute for anyone who is diabetic as well.

sugar free ice cream.

No matter what you can always choose health even when it comes to your ice cream. My grandpa used to eat this kind all the time and it Taste great. You can still eat sweets now and then just choose healthy options and this is a great one.

Veggie straws.

Honestly, when I first saw this in the store, I was like no way am I eating that nope not me. My aunt use to buy this for my grandpa so, one day I was shopping and I saw them out and I grabbed a bag. This is actually a very great choice in place of chips and it’s healthier. So sometimes what may not always look good on the outside may be delicious once you try it.

Apples.

I know apples do have some sugar however fruit has a different kind of sugar and apples are actually pretty good when dieting, lately that’s been my night time snack before bed. Apples slices are the best before going to sleep along with a glass of water and not to mention some grapes.

Final thoughts.

If your looking for a good snack and you don’t wanna worry about the sugar intake or all the calories these are great snack ideas. I will also make a part two for you guys coming up so you can see other healthy foods that I eat when I’m home.

Weight loss is a journey but with the right mind set we can do it. Enjoy your Monday night and don’t forget to eat something healthy today and drink plenty of water.

One of those days..

weight loss/Healthy food choices

Thursday’s oh typical Thursday’s, the day where the weekend is pretty much almost here and we celebrate Because Friday is our last day of work for most of us. My goal is to not trigger anyone with this blog post and to only tell my story while also educating. If your struggling with weight I’m here standing with you and we can do this together. Please don’t jump to conclusions on this post again it’s my experience and the things I’ve dealt with but as always I want to share with you all.

I still remember being the girl who flipped through all the magazines, the girl who was destined to be happy. The mirror use to be my best friend, it’s weird now standing at 4″11 and looking at myself no longer seeing anything that looks attractive to me, the world does not help when every where your turn someone is telling you how much weight you gained or what you should or should not be eating. The struggles to be what the world wants me to be continues to beat me down day in and day out. The girl who was once a size 7 now wears 11-12 and of course that’s not attractive to most ( in my mind) I’m still at a lost on how it started or how to fix it.

It seemed like over the course of the last couple of months food became a scape goat for me it was there when I was sad, it was there when I was happy it was there for every occasion. I found myself eating just to eat at times. I kept pretending like my weight gain didn’t exists people would make comments but as always, I ignored it and kept eating what I wanted. I miss the girl who could eat whatever and never gain weight or the girl who simply didn’t care. I miss the girl who once loved who she was and didn’t care about what the world wanted her to be but some where down the line she lost herself and does not know when she will be back.

I remember taking diets pills and starving myself and exercising constantly, I remember being so desperate to be happy at one point that I even went to a pro Ana website Because in my mind being thin was the goal. I spent countless hours looking at calories and documenting what I ate. It was pure torture some days but again the goal was to be thin. The weird part is sometimes, I’ll go to twitter and look at girls profiles who still struggle with weight and my heart breaks for the girls who don’t eat all day or the girl who lies to her parents about eating a meal knowing she threw it up. I go to YouTube and watch videos of girls stories and the recovery at the end of the video always makes me smile.

I spent an hour on the phone with my boyfriend tonight and we talked about my weight gain and I broke down because I’m ashamed to even have allowed myself to get this way I’m ashamed because it’s no longer about my weight but the goal is to be happy and healthy again. I say to anyone struggling tomorrow is a new day please love yourself and know that it will be ok. Let’s not worry about the number on the scale so much let’s focus on being happy and healthy. My nutritionist calls it a lifestyle change not a diet. We can do this ladies and men because I know we all struggle or have struggled at some point in our lives.

To anyone struggling with body image issues please get help, you are not alone and to anyone who feels like giving up on weight loss please don’t you can do this, I’m standing with you. Enjoy your Thursday night and know you are loved ❤️

Finally back!!!

mental health, weight loss/Healthy food choices

I’ve honestly missed blogging and it’s so much that I’m wanting to say. I’ll try to keep it short and simple with you.

Why I stepped away?

I had so much going on in my personal life, I was trying to figure it all out and it was hard for me to blog and give my all to my site, when in my mind, I wasn’t a hundred percent available. I was going back in fourth with my podcast and YouTube but eventually that interest faded too. I’m still trying to figure it all out. I know for sure that blogging is a Hugh passion for me and that’s why keeping this site up and running is so important to me and me being back is honestly a good thing for me and I’m looking forward to giving you guys more great content and being open to more conversations.

What’s been going on in my life?

My anxiety and depression for the most part has actually been ok, I see my doctor every three months for refills on my medications and we talk about what’s going on in my life. I still have moments of being anxious or a little emotional but it’s nothing that consumes me like in the past.

My weight?

My weight has been an on going battle for me lately the past couple of months have been hell when it comes to that, I’ve gone through spells of binge eating and not caring and spells where losing weight is all that’s on my mind. I started seeing my nutritionist again then the old habits came back with bad eating, the good news is I’ve found a new nutritionist in the area who will see me as a new patient next month and I’m super excited to see what happens with that, my doctor has even expressed concern about my weight gain and my blood pressure is now high and It’s all scary to be honest my health has to come first. I’ve finally got On board and chosen to eat healthy and do the right thing my goal is to eat clean and stay away from sweets and bread as my dr has advised me to do as well as exercising daily. I will keep you guys update on my weight loss.

Work?

Honestly work has been so stressful lately it’s been hectic and all over the place, one of my co workers is out on maternity leave so we’re short staffed and I’m doing her job now and it’s been chaotic and crazy at the drs office lately, I’m trying to hang in there and be strong but all the negativity I’m dealing with is not worth my sanity any longer and I’m realizing it’s time for a change in my work life, I try to always remain positive and remember why, I became a medical assistant but sometimes it’s hard and it’s honestly not even the patients it’s the people around me that make make my job so hard at times. I won’t got in to too much detail on that but I will say I’m looking forward to new career opportunities soon.

Love?

My love life is still amazing, my boyfriend and I are still together and still happy in love. We’re still trying to figure out the moving situation and what’s next but everything has been amazing thus far and our two year anniversary is coming up soon, I’m super excited for that and can’t wait to spend more years with him.

Church?

I’ve recently Began going back to church again and I’ve finally found a church home for my daughter and I we enjoy the people there and the pastor it’s been so great going and getting to know everyone and the best part is my moms best friend is a member there so she’s always looking out for me. I’m genuinely happy about allowing god back into my life and allowing myself to go back to church and put god first again. It’s been one hell of a journey when it comes to my religion and trying to figure out where I belong and where I should be, however finally it’s all happening the way I want it too.

Final words-

I know, I rambled a little bit had to catch you up on some aspects of my life and I’m finally back guys so keep looking out for more post from me, I promise not to leave again for months like that again. I’m still figuring it all out but CHERELLE is finally back! Enjoy your Wednesday night, this girl is off to bed. I have another 5am wake up call. 🙏

Staying strong 💪 😊

mental health, weight loss/Healthy food choices

Once again, I apologize for my disappearing act, I had a lot going on at the time dealing with my depression/anxiety, so it lead me to walk away from some things and start fresh, I’m in a better space again and a lot happier. I’ve been taking my medication regularly and trying my best not to allow anything to come between me and my sanity.

I’m in the midst of trying to lose weight due to health reasons and trying to be healthy and I’ve joined weight watchers so, I’m proud to say I’ve had a few bad moments with dieting but I’m getting back on track as we speak and excited to be back on the meal plan my nutritionist gave me in the beginning. I’m ready to start fresh and begin my road to happiness again.

I’m excited also to be cutting my hair this week, I’ve always wanted to do something drastic and for once it’s happening, I’m choosing to cut it short and go natural, no more relaxer for my hair it’s all natural curls for now on. You ever have moments where starting fresh is the best thing for you or in general you wanna do something different well that’s how I’ve been feeling lately and I’m super excited about it.

My journey isn’t always easy but it’s so worth it, I’m not perfect all the time and things don’t always go right but I’m still here and still standing. I’m going to continue to fight against my mental illness and continue to push through even when it’s hard, my mental illness is not me and i am not my mental illness it doesn’t always have to define me. I will continue to advocate for those who struggle and continue to take care of myself daily.

Enjoy your Sunday guys and don’t forget to check out my podcast on anchor.fm/CherelleH new episodes everyday so look out for it.

It’s going to be ok :)

mental health

I know, I’ve been gone for almost two weeks now, I’m sorry guys. I had a lot going on and needed to re group and deal with some things. I was not feeling like myself and needed a break from everything for a while. I’m honestly feeling a lot better and have dealt with most of the things that were bothering me.

I, finally went back and saw my doctor and got back on my medication and expressed to him the way things have been and that my depression and anxiety had started to kick back in and that my Job was actually a big source of my stress to be honest, we both agreed to up my medication to 20mg, so far it’s been good for me and it’s helped me a lot. It was good to finally tell my story and release it and not keep allowing it to take me over and it helps to know I’m not alone and that it can be ok but it’s up to me to allow myself to be ok and to be able to move forward even when dealing with my mental illness.

I’m also excited to announce that, I’m officially on weight watchers now and it’s been so good so far, as you all know my weight is a issue for me and I’m looking to be healthy and lose a few pounds. I’m hoping this all works out for me, my mom has been really supportive for me and also started weight watchers with me as well so I’m looking forward to seeing what’s next. I’ve had so many people point out that I’ve gained weight and it honestly hurts my feelings. I’m not obese or anything but still why must everyone point out my flaws. Yes I’m 143 now and I get it but geez can people stop. So anyway moving past the negativity I’m hopping to get to 124 pounds witch is a healthy weight for my 4″11 body frame and as always, I’ll keep you guys posted.

My daughter turned two a week ago and we had a little birthday party for her and it was amazing she’s growing into a wonderful little girl. I was even excited because my boyfriend came to town and we took her out to eat and shopping. I love the way he loves my daughter. They talk on the phone every night and say how much they love one another and he treats her like his her father. It’s been a wonderful experience to be with someone so sweet and amazing and who treats me right. I can honestly see us getting married in the future and I’m looking forward to the rest of our lives together. I know I know sorry guys I could go on and on for days about him though. I’ll stop for now though lol.

I actually got out the house today guys, I’m such a homebody but my co workers invited me out and we went downtown and had a blast, it was great! I won’t lie though, I started to miss my daughter mid way through. I’m so use to being in the house and not going out a lot so it was weird but I’m glad to have finally allowed myself to do something fun for once. I’m hoping to do more things like this soon. I’m sorry for being gone so long and I’m going to do better and I’m sorry if this sounds like a broken record but dealing with mental illness is not always easy and lately I’ve had so many moments where I’ve had to step away from the things that I love doing including my podcast.

I hope everyone has a great Saturday night, I’m off to watch some tv until my eyes close.

Where I’ve been/checking in.

mental health

First, I want to apologize for going M.I.A on everyone, so much has been going on and honestly not having my medication has lead to me feeling depressed and not like myself. I’ve been kinda of distance with everything lately, including with my podcast and it’s all been a process to be honest.

I’ve been working and being a mom and struggling with other things as well that have lead me down a path of trying to figure out what to do next. The good news is my doctor finally approved my medication to be refilled this morning, my pharmacy fought hard for them to do it and for that I’m grateful to finally be able to pick up my medicine today. I have other things that have been plaguing my mind lately as well and you all know it’s no secret that I’ve been trying to lose weight and I’ve been on and off with diets and failing miserably to stick to anything at all.

I’m starting to feel so insecure about my weight, it’s to the point that looking in the mirror has become an issue for me, I’ve gotten to the point where avoiding the mirror is the only thing that works for me. I know I’m not perfect and some days I eat a lot of sweets and other days I don’t. I feel like sometimes I’m binge eating and I don’t know why or eating when I’m bored and it’s bothering me and I’m feeling gross to be honest, I was 136 now I’m 143 and to some that’s not a lot but to me it is and I hate my body right now and all though my boyfriend tells me I’m beautiful everyday some how I don’t believe it anymore. It’s funny last night we were on the phone and he said “baby your making yourself crazy for no reason” I get it but still it’s hard to tell the girl who always struggled with wanting to be super thin and who use to starve herself to lose weight any different. I remember being 122 pounds and being happy because back then weight didn’t bother me as much but tell that to me now.

This girl was so confident and happy but now I’m wondering what happen to her and why now am I stuck 🤷‍♀️

This is me now and to some, I may appear fine but to me I’m so insecure and wondering when this will end to be honest.

I’m also in a space where I’m about to cut my hair short again, my hair grew back out but now it’s starting to break off some in the back and I’m kind of over my hair, so I booked a hair appointment with my hair stylist for the following week to get it cut and Styled and start fresh for a while. I know in due time, things will be back to normal and I’ll be back to my old self, it’s all a process but getting back on my meds is the first start and then Monday I’m starting back on my diet of eating clean and I’m sticking to a goal of getting down to 129, that’s the goal my nutritionist set for me so I’m going get back too it and stay clean this time.

I’m going to be ok and I know everyone dealing with mental illness can get through this and be strong too. It’s going to be tough sometimes but we can see it through. I’m about to finish watching “Halloween” and be scared for a while under my heated blanket. Enjoy your Sunday and be safe and happy 😊

My favorite recipe/Food..

weight loss/Healthy food choices

Ok guys so today being that it’s Saturday, I wanted to tell you guys one of my favorite foods and recipes that you can make even while dieting, so as I explain in a previous post I’ve been trying out the keto diet and so far so good also all I’ve been eating is organic everything pretty much so this delicious meal is a favorite that I love and even my daughter loves.

Shrimp Alfredo..

This is one of my favorite dishes ever to make so yesterday being at home after work I got started on this amazingly good dish, so most people should know how to make it but of course everyone makes theirs different.

What you need:

Shrimp

Pasta noodles (vegetable) it’s made with zucchini and spinach and healthier for you.

Alfredo sauce

Olive oil or coconut oil (it’s healthier)

Parsley

Salt

Pepper

Tomatoes (optional)

Mushrooms (optional)

Green pepper (optional)

Onions (optional)

getting started:

The first thing that I do is grab a good frying pan and I take a drop of olive oil and drizzle it in the pan, I set the stove top on 3 and I take my shrimp and peel it and clean it off in water, before placing it in the pan, once the oil starts to sizzle a little I place my shrimp in and season it with old bay seasoning and lemon pepper seasoning. (You don’t have to season it, I choose too for taste reason)

The next step is to take my vegetable pasta and place it in some boiling water on the stove, I set the stove top to 4 and allow it to boil for couple of minutes while stirring my shrimp in the frying pan. once my pasta is done then, I proceed to drain the water and place the pasta in the pan with the shrimp. I toss it around to coat the pan, I sprinkle the parsley over the shrimp and pasta and add salt and pepper, I then cover the pan back up to keep the moisture in.

I dice some tomatoes up in to tiny pieces placing some into the pan while grabbing some fresh mushrooms and placing them in the pan next. I stir everything around to coat the pan again then proceed to cover the pan back up again. I allow everything to simmer and cook before placing my onions and peppers in the pan then adding my Alfredo sauce and pouring it into my pan, I then stir it around the pan and cover it again for a couple more minutes once it’s been sitting for a while, I then turn the stove off and my shrimp Alfredo is all done and ready to eat.

Side dishes:

Toss salad

Garlic bread

Bread sticks

(You can add whatever you want)

Conclusion:

This is a great recipe and it’s easy to make at home for family and friends. I’ll share more recipes with you guys soon.

I’m back!!

life

It feels good to be back, I know I’ve been gone for a while the last post I did was on Christmas Eve like I’m the worse, I already know. I’m going to dedicate myself more to my blog, I’m going to be posting every Saturday/Sunday starting this week. Those are the best days for me, I’m going to start this blogging thing off right and be more dedicated to keeping up and letting you guys know what’s going on with me more.

So basically I’m going to catch you up on where I’ve been and what’s been going on since the last post. So hang in here with me guys because it’s about to get long winded lol jk or am I? 🤷‍♀️ so let’s get started.

Anxiety update:

My anxiety has been so good and I’m happy to say, I haven’t been depressed or sad in a while and that’s a good feeling for me. I’ve been seeing my doctor on a regular basis and he has me on my anxiety meds witch are working amazing , he even up my dosage at our last visit and it’s been going well so far, the only side effect I’m not liking too much is the drowsiness and feeling sleepy but other then that the medicine is perfect, I’m learning I’m one of those people that needs meds to function and I’ve accepted that and I’m not ashamed I’m actually proud to admit I’m far from perfect. I would rather be safe then sorry. I’ve been trying to stay up beat and positive about anything and keep the negative out my circle and away from me. I’ll definitely keep you updated on my anxiety.

Relationship:

I was so happy to celebrate my one year anniversary with my wonderful boyfriend on the 6th of January, it’s been an amazing year, his been an amazing guy and he treats my daughter so well so, I couldn’t ask for a better man to be in my life this is the happiest I’ve ever been with someone and I’m glad we met each other when we did. It’s nothing like good timing to help you meet the right person when you lease expect it. I also wanna do a blog post this up coming weekend on relationships. I’m going to do more post on relationships in the upcoming future.

My diet:

I don’t even wanna deal with this lol but geez I gotta get back on track I’ve gained a few pounds back unfortunately, so can’t say I’ve been on track but I do plan on starting the keto diet next week with my mom so, I will let you guys know how that works. It’s so hard to stick to this diet thing, I do so well for a month or two then I slip up again and it’s disappointing but I’m human and I’m going to keep pushing and love the skin I’m in. I’m going to get healthy this year and do what’s best for me on my terms and my standards not what everyone else wants me to do. I will keep you guys updated on this aspect of my life as well let’s keep those fingers crossed 🤞

What you can expect:

So with it being a new year, I really wanna blog more about different things, I don’t wanna stick to always talking about my anxiety or dieting so my next steps is to talk more about hair, makeup, relationships, and all other things and I’ll even post videos on here as well. I’m going to kick this blog up going forward and you can also expect a Q&A from me soon as well. So guys, I hope you had an amazing new year and I hope you enjoy your week I’ll be posting again on Saturday so look out for it.

Holiday weight gain😩|tips to get back on track.

holidays/thanksgiving, weight loss/Healthy food choices

So,we have all been there,unfortunately where the holidays come and all of a sudden all that weight loss goes right out the window and bam you have gained all your weight back or at least some of it. I had a lovely thanksgiving with friends and family and a couple of days off work so that helped too but of course it’s back to work Monday and I’m dreading it?but I do have some good news, I’ll wait to share and again I’m sorry for being being M.I.A been so busy these days with so many things but I will get better in due time.

I wanna give you guys 5 tips on how to get back on track after the holidays so don’t feel discouraged guys because we all fall down but we can get back up. I only gained 3 pounds but still it feels like a lot in my eyes and I feel gross (being honest) but it will pass and I’ll be back on track starting tomorrow.

Let’s get started.

1. Clean all bad foods out of your home-

So this is a Hugh one because I won’t lie, I had so many bad foods in my house due to the holidays and I been eating and snacking like crazy and it’s like you get one cookie then you gotta grab another cookie 🤦‍♀️ I know I know but it happens so the best thing to do is clean out your house of all bad foods and start fresh with all healthy ones, it will make you feel 100% better and you won’t have to worry about snacking on anything bad.

2. Make sure your using your weight loss app to document foods/ Stay in calorie range-

I kinda got off track and stopped documenting what foods I’ve been eating since the holidays, so I’m not even sure if I was in calorie range or under or over, so yes I been eating and not having a clue what’s been going on and now I’m looking at my app and feel so so guilty but again like I said we are all allowed days to eat bad sometimes ,so yes it happens but I will definitely get back on track using my app and again guys go download this app it’s works www.sparkpeople.com

3. Have a great support system-

This is also really important guys, because when you fall off the wagon you need someone around you to pick you back up and support you no matter what and keep you motivated. my mom is that person for me she always diets with me and keeps pushing me to do better, even when I’m like no don’t wanna do it, like today she told me I looked skinny of course I’m like no mom ,no not this girl but it’s hearing those compliments that make me smile and feel better,like this can be done and I can reach my goal so remember kick those people to the curb when they doubt you or bring you down because you can do it.

4. Go to the gym/walk the neighborhood-

I haven’t been to the gym in so long ,won’t even lie but going back may not be a bad idea even if you don’t wanna go or can’t go take a walk around your neighbor hood ,your body will feel so much better and thank you in the long run a little exercise helps and it’s also good for clearing your mind and relieving stress. So I’m going to make it a daily goal again to try to go the gym at least once or twice a week to start off especially for the new year. (If it’s cold where you live wrap up please don’t want anyone getting a cold) take it one day at a time it’s no rush.

5. Drink plenty of water/have fun with your weight loss-

So please always remember to drink plenty of water and stay hydrated guys that’s important when trying to lose weight and our bodies need water and if your someone who is not a big fan of water you can use water enhancers to enhance the flavor in your water it’s 0% juice and it taste good and your water taste great too, I have two in my cabinet now. Check down the Juice isle in your local grocery store. Guys don’t allow your weight loss to take over your life, this should be something fun and enjoyable not something that makes you miserable or becomes and obsession, so make sure to take a few deep breaths and relax and again it’s ok to have a cheat day or two remember it’s all about your health and being healthy , it should be a fun lifestyle change not a miserable one.

Conclusion-

Losing weight is not always easy and has its ups and downs but it’s worth it, when trying to be healthy, so take your time with it and everything will be ok, I had a little set back but I’m going to keep pushing, damn these holidays lol jk but again hope everyone had a great thanksgiving and great time with family and I’m off to relax before bed. Don’t let the holidays get you down keep pushing, I believe in you. I’ll be back sooner than later ✌️

Weight loss update|Life!

anxiety, weight loss/Healthy food choices

I’m so sorry guys, I know I was suppose to update a couple of days ago, well life caught me and I got busy 😩 but I’m back today. I have been working on my weight loss as you can tell by previous post and let’s just say it’s working so well I have to credit it to hard work but also www.sparkpeople.com yes this app has helped me so much with eating right and the recipes are great. So I started off at 139 and I’m now 133. (After I had my daughter I was 145 and then got in to the 130’s but gained my weight back) I was shocked when I stepped on the scale and seen that. I wanna keep going to get down to 122. I literally haven’t been that small since 2014 also guys make sure your doing it healthy don’t do anything crazy to lose weight. I literally eat 3 meals a day and when I do snack it’s always something healthy. I will keep you posted on more of my weight loss and also on once I hit my goal weight how I’ll maintain it. I haven’t been going to the gym as much either here lately so gotta get back on track with that.

Life..

Ok so my life has been pretty ok, I still feel sad sometimes and depressed here and there and my job tends to give me a hell of a lot of anxiety here lately so I’m still in the process of looking for another job trying to be positive about it all. Once I get my new insurance I’m also going to start back seeing my therapist so that should be interesting, the goal here is to not allow my anxiety to take over but it’s hard some days are better then others. I still have those moments where being alone is all I want to do. I get invited to so many events or places and turn them down because I’m so use to being alone and I’ve become such a loner to be honest so I’m working on getting out the house more and trying to be more social but sometimes it’s like no thanks I’ll stay home today. Well it’s Saturday so I’ll get out for a little while today I’m taking my daughter out for shopping to get her more clothes and I’m going to do some Christmas shopping (I know it’s early but I rather start now then late) I always do my shopping early.

I still wanna get away but where the hell would I go? I still wish starting over was an option well maybe it still is but geez do I really wanna move away and leave my friends and family behind? Sometimes I do and it’s nothing they did it’s mostly me. It’s like when you have it all it still doesn’t feel like enough or it feels like it should be different and then you think about all the people in the world who are worse off then you and it’s like I probably should stop complaining and suck it up. My mind is always wondering and going into so many different thoughts and scenarios. I’m the happiest when I’m around positivity and around a people who matter to me. “it will get better” my boyfriend says to me every day he says “your dream job will come” I wanna believe that, Hell I want to believe that my sadness will go away and that I will fulfill all the goals that I have too. Some times when I talk to people they say “oh so your just sad about your job” and I’m thinking no it’s way way deeper then that. I wish I could fully explain it but it’s hard to explain and I don’t like opening up to people who clearly will not understand what I’m going through or what I’m dealing with.

I won’t explain to you why I don’t show up for things or why I do some of the things that I do because in all honestly Half the time I’m still trying to figure it out myself. I’m honestly still a work in progress but anyway enough of my rambling and venting I gotta go get myself ready to head out soon so again I’ll be back soon with another post. (Not about my weight or anxiety) something different for a change.

Enjoy your weekend 🙂